Changes
by MelanthiaChase
Summary: Things are changing in Charming. SAMCRO has new enemies and old grudges to contend with. Can Milla and Juice stay on track and bring some stability to those around them? Juice/OC
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing you recognize. All original characters are my own.

**Chapter One**

"Hello Ms. Morrow. Having a good day?" I felt my shoulders tense as I stood by the counter at Stumpy's.

"Mr. Hale, I thought you remembered. It's Mrs. Ortiz now." I said cordially and coolly as I turned around and saw Jacob Hale Jr. sitting at a booth with an older gentleman in a six thousand dollar suit and another man who gave me the creeps.

"That's right, you are a newlywed. Here to pick up some food for the Son's?" His baiting was infuriating but I knew how to control my temper.

"I'm simply picking up Mr. Oswald's lunch before I return to work. Surely you have more important business than harassing his personal assistant." I nodded to his companions.

"Oh how rude of me. Ethan Zobelle and AJ Weston, this is Millicent Morrow, my apologies, _Ortiz. _Her father is the president of our resident Motorcycle Club the Sons of Anarchy." His smile turned feral and I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, when Jacob Hale smiled trouble usually followed for the Sons.

"It is a pleasure Mrs. Ortiz." Mr. Zobelle said my last name like he had something unpleasant under his nose and his companion looked disgusted. When I saw the tattoo on his arm I knew why. This guy was full-on Aryan Brotherhood and to him I was a race traitor.

"Likewise Mr. Zobelle. Interesting accent, I'm guessing Eastern Block." Despite himself he looked impressed and gave a slight smile.

"Good ear Mrs. Ortiz, its Hungary actually. Perhaps we shall see you around town." His response chilled me to the bone. The very last thing I wanted was for him and his guard dog to "see" me.

"Perhaps." Just then Jeannie tapped my shoulder, Elliot's meal was ready. "I must be going, have a lovely day."

"Give Elliot my best." Jacob called out as I practically rushed toward the door. I had to tell my Dad about this. As I got to my car I saw David pull up, he wasn't my Dad but I knew he'd listen to me. I waited until he parked before I went up to him.

"Hi Milla, can I help you with something?" He asked as he got out of his Jeep and walked around to me.

"Hi David, I want you to be on your toes when you go in there." He gave me a confused look and I continued, "Your brother is meeting with these men and I get a really bad vibe from them, especially the one with the tattoo in his arms. Just be yourself ok David, your instincts are as good as mine, you'll be able to sift through the bullshit. Promise me you'll be on your toes."

"You're instincts are telling you they're bad…Milla you're married to Ortiz and Clay Morrow's daughter, I'm not sure I share your definition of "bad"." He wanted to listen to me so I had to explain myself.

"Ok, I know there are some people in my life with highly questionable ethics, but they're basically good people and I can see and feel that kernel of goodness. With these people they're empty husks, nothing good can come from being associated with them. Kind of like the feeling you get from watching videos of Hitler at the youth rallies." I shivered thinking of Weston and David nodded in understanding.

"I promise to be on my toes Milla. Take care of yourself." He kissed my cheek and went into the diner while I got in my Jeep and went to work.

"Milla, I wasn't expecting you back. Don't you have an appointment with your doctor?" Elliot asked as I came through the door.

"Oh god, I forgot. I'm sorry Elliot, all I remembered was your lunch." I brought out the containers and set them on the table and he chuckled.

"Go to your appointment Milla. I'll be able to hold down the fort." He gave me a smile and I knew better than to argue with my boss so I went to my desk and grabbed my stuff, waving goodbye to Julie on the way.

At St. Thomas I sat nervously. I hated doctors, hated them but I'd been so ill lately and the fluctuating weight really had me concerned. As I sat I watched people going in and out of the rooms and the movement made me nauseous so I sat with my head down before they called me in. I followed the nurse who took me directly to get my blood drawn, I hadn't had a check up in two years and my doctor wanted me to get it done so I suffered through all the meaningless stuff before she had me sit down in the room and wait. I was waiting for half an hour and getting frustrated before the last person I expected came through the door.

"Hey Milla." Tara gave me a smile and didn't seem offended by my furrowed brow.

"Not that I'm not glad to see you Tara, you know I love you, but what are you doing here?" She grinned wider.

"I convinced doctor Nior to let me handle your exam. I'm glad you're sitting Milla, your blood test had some very interesting results." She grinned and I didn't know how to respond, my brain stopped working. She wouldn't be happy if the results were bad, but my mind had been stuck on bad ever since I ran into Jacob and his "friends".

"You're pregnant Milla." Her smile widened and I just looked at her before it hit me.

"I'm pregnant? Really?" Tara got up and hugged me before she pulled away and kissed my forehead.

"Yes, now the only thing left to do is do an ultrasound to see how far along you are. Aren't you happy?" She was already getting a hospital gown and robe out of one of the drawers.

"I don't know what I am…pregnant…shit." As soon as I said the last it really hit me. I was pregnant, a little Ortiz was in my stomach and I placed my hand over where I thought it would be. Suddenly a grin stretched my face to match Tara's and she helped me to get out of my clothes and into the gown and robe.

Soon enough she was spreading jelly on my stomach and trying to find the baby. There were a few indistinct blobs on the screen before something popped up that had us looking intently. It was vaguely babyish and Tara moved the wand over a fraction of an inch and there was my baby, I gasped and she glanced at me as I felt tears in my eyes.

"That's your baby Milla. According to size and formation I'd say you're about four months along" She said softly as she began taking pictures of the baby.

"I didn't know you could love a blurry image on a screen so much. I'd kill for that blur Tara and wouldn't have a moment of regret." I sniffled softly as she got the baby from all angles.

"You're going to be as fierce as your Mom." She shook her head as she got some paper towels and cleaned off my stomach.

"You've never given me a greater compliment." As soon as I was clean Tara went out to get the pictures and I got dressed. As I was putting my boots back on I sat up and held a hand to my stomach, she'd said four months, that meant that we'd conceived at around the time Donna died. This news didn't sadden me like I thought it would have, instead it filled me with joy. I'd lost my best friend, my sister and a new life had been formed in her place. I sat back in the chair and felt the tears start again. This baby was a gift and I'd cherish it.

"Ok, you're ready to go. I suggest going to Gemma for your own safety." We shared a laugh and she gave me the pictures with a smile. "I have a prescription here for prenatal vitamins and I recommend taking supplements. Your body is sharing nutrients with your baby and you need to keep up your strength. There are some concerns with your heart defect, but for the most part it has been repaired. I don't see your heart causing any problems with your pregnancy and the baby's development. Come in next week for a follow-up exam and I recommend bringing Juice for support."

"Thank you Tara." I grinned as I gave her one last hug before I went to get my prescription filled and waited as I called Juice.

"Hey baby, what'd the doctor say?" Everyone remembered my appointment except for me. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I answered.

"There was some news. Are you at the clubhouse?" I asked as I tried to keep the grin out of my voice.

"Yeah, doin some shit for Clay. Want me to pick you up?" He sounded concerned and I placed a hand to my stomach, he was going to be such a great daddy.

"No babe, I'll be leaving as soon as they fill my prescription. I just wanna make sure you're at the clubhouse when I get there. Gonna stick around?" I was hoping to kill two birds with one stone and I knew my mom planned on being in the clubhouse today, we had a party to set up

"Yeah, I'll be here. Gemma would have my ass if I left before we got done getting shit ready. You ok, need me?" He asked as the pharmacist got my attention.

"My prescription's ready. I'll be heading to the clubhouse in a few. I love you." I smiled wider as I pressed my hand tighter to my stomach, it was so surreal.

"I love you baby, I'll see you when you get here." We hung up and I paid for my prescription before I went to the clubhouse.

I had butterflies in my stomach and nervous tingles in my fingers as I walked into the clubhouse and saw Mom feeding Abel on one of the couches and Juice at his laptop at the bar. As soon as Juice saw me he closed his laptop and walked to me pulling me into his arms.

"Hey baby." He held me tight and brought his mouth to mine.

"As soon as you two stop sucking face you should come tell me what happened with your appointment." I pulled reluctantly away and held Juice's hand as I led him to the couches. I sat down on the couch facing Ma and Juice settled in next to me with his hand in mine.

"I have some news…" I took a deep breath and Juice's forehead furrowed in concern while Mom gave me an assessing look. "I'm pregnant, Tara says I'm about four months along. The baby is healthy and so am I."

For the space of a heartbeat they were both silent before Juice gave an excited whoop and pulled me into his arms. He kissed me until I was breathless and Mom put Abel back in his car seat and joined us on the couch, pulling me into her arms.

"Looks like we have another reason to celebrate." Mom kissed the top of my head and Juice got up and went to the pool table. Mom and I stared at him as he got on it.

"I'm going to be a Dad!" He yelled and I couldn't help but laugh at the joy in his face.

"What?" My Dad shouted as he came in the door followed by Tig, Opie and Chibs. Juice turned around and grinned at him.

"I'm going to be a Dad, Milla's having my baby." Juice hopped off the table and came to me again pulling me up and giving me another breathtaking kiss.

"I'll be damned." My Dad said before a grin spread on his face and he took me from Juice's arms and placed a kiss to my temple, "I'm so happy kiddo, so damn happy."

Soon enough the guys were patting Juice on the back and giving me kisses on the cheek. It seemed to be a good start to the evening.

Later that evening I was in Juice's arms against the wall of the Garage. He was kissing me gently and almost growled every time someone came near us. As his hand slipped under my shirt to splay over my stomach a car pulled into the lot and Happy hit his shoulder. Juice reluctantly pulled away and went with Hap while I went to stand by my mother who put her arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I felt the breath leave my lungs as I saw Mr. Zobelle and Weston, he didn't deserve a title, get out of the car along with a man I knew was a Nord. I couldn't hear the conversation but it was obvious Dad was pissed.

"Go stand back with Luann baby." Mom told me as Hap and Tig drew their guns. I nodded, I felt a sudden need to protect my baby and went to Luann who linked her arm with mine and stood with me.

As they went away Weston looked at me with a disgusted sneer before he got too close to my Mom. The bad feeling in the pit of my stomach grew and I felt like throwing up. Eventually Dad handed something to Juice as the hatemongers drove away and Juice took my hand as he passed and brought me into the clubhouse. He took out his laptop and had me sit next to him as he started working on it.

"You aren't going anywhere alone after tonight babe. I mean it; you have one of the guys with you. Going to work, home doesn't matter. Those guys seemed like the type who won't think twice about hurting a woman and the way Weston looked at you made me sick." He took a drag of his cigarette and placed a hand on my knee. "We also have to think about the peanut."

He started working in earnest and I watched him closely. I always loved the way his hands worked on the keys. I like to say that you can tell if a man is good with his hands if he's good on a keyboard. I knew from experience that his hands were as deft on my body as they were on those keys. He looked up from the computer and caught the look in my eyes.

"Go claim one of the dorm rooms baby. I have a feeling we'll be having our own party after Bobby comes back." He gave me his grin and I hopped off the stool. Luckily it was early enough in the night that there were plenty of unchained rooms. We had a system, if someone wanted a room, they chained it and everyone respected the chains. You did not go into a room that you yourself did not chain. The room that used to be Juice's stood out like a beacon in all its unchained glory and I hooked the chain from the jamb to the expanse of the door. It was ours for the night.

I walked out into the main room and sat by Juice again. He made a frustrated noise and slammed his laptop shut before he got off the stool and pulled me into his arms.

"You _never_ leave a brother's sight. You hear me?" He asked as he pressed our foreheads together.

"Yeah baby, what did you find out?" I asked as he ran a hand over my stomach.

"Weston, aggravated assault, attempted murder, suspicion of felony manslaughter; he was even attached to the bombing of a fucking day care. You aren't safe baby not after the way he looked at you." He hugged me tight again before he took my hand and led me outside, eager to get the party vibe back. He went over to Dad and told him what he knew and Dad looked over at me and nodded.

Chibs waved me over and I joined the group while Dad sent Juice off to take care of something. Bobby would be here any minute and the real party would begin. When I got to the group Chibs grabbed me around the shoulders and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm so happy for ya girly. Can't wait until the little sprog makes its appearance." The others nodded in agreement and Dad chuckled.

"God, I hope the kid has your brains and your looks. Maybe his technical skills but the kid better be mostly you." Dad smiled again and Juice came out with Bobby's cut and I smiled.

"Are you the official keeper of the cut now?" I asked and sipped my water while Juice grinned at me.

Suddenly a dark sedan pulled up and I went with Juice as he went up to Bobby and gave him his cut. He hugged Juice before he grabbed me and swung me around. I hugged him tightly and he released me before he went to the brothers. Juice and I decided to wait before we said our congratulations to Bobby and stood in a corner of the main room. His hand never left my abdomen as he resumed the kisses we had been forced to abandon when the Aryan assholes had shown up.

"Hey you two, congrats on the wedding. Couldn't wait until I got out?" Bobby slurred a little as he threw an arm around Juice and Juice steadied him.

"I couldn't wait another minute." Juice grinned and Bobbygave him a noogie.

"Good, good. The club needed something good. How are you baby doll?" He asked as he let go of Juice and crushed me in another hug.

"Better than I've ever been. You're gonna be a great uncle bobby." Hi drunk eyes cleared a bit and he gave me an incredulous look.

"No shit? We hell yeah!" He hugged me again before he gave Juice another hug. "This is a reason to celebrate. Juice have a drink with me. You get some water."

We followed and had a few toasts before Bobby found two croweaters who met his standards and proceeded to enjoy them on the pool table while Juice held me on his lap on the couch. I saw my brother come in and go directly to Bobby. I had no idea why he was late but I was just happy he was there. He looked worried and I hated seeing him so hurt and indecisive, if he was going to be Pres some day he needed to clear his head and get shit done. He came up to us and I decided I could share the news with him the next day. He seemed to have enough on his mind as it was.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing you recognize. All original characters are my own.

**Chapter Two**

I woke up to the annoying buzz of my phone and groaned. Juice made an indecipherable noise at my side and I slid out of bed, trying not to wake him. As soon as I got out of bed I grabbed Juice's shirt and slid it on before I went out to answer my phone. Hopefully I'd be back in it before he woke up. He'd been exceptionally clingy since the baby and Weston; I didn't want to give him any reason for concern. When I got out into the hallway I went straight for the bathroom, the only way to simultaneously get privacy and not wake up a cranky biker after an epic party.

"Milla here." I answered as soon as the door was shut.

"Hey baby." Luann sounded upset and I felt my heart go out to her.

"Luann, hey. You know I was up all night screwing my husband, right?" I asked and we shared a laugh.

"Yeah, I know baby. I wouldn't ask if this shit wasn't serious. Come to CaraCara, I need your help with some of our girls." She sounded so upset that there really was nothing else I could do.

"Give me some time to shower and dress. I'll be there within the hour." I rubbed a hand over my face, this would not go over well with Juice but I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.

"Thank you baby." She hung up and I decided that since I was in the bathroom I might as well shower before I went back to the room. I definitely wouldn't be getting back in bed with my husband.

After the shower, I went back to the room and dressed. Giving a sad look to my husband I knelt on the bed and kissed his shoulder before I grabbed my purse and silently made my way out of the clubhouse. I drove to the studio and was shocked to see only about three cars in the lot, Chantal's, Luann's and Brits. A bad feeling started. Well actually it built on the feeling I'd been having since I met the white power brigade. I was out of my jeep and in the studio as soon as I rolled to a stop.

Luann was standing off to the side while Chantal consoled her and Dave was milling around with Brit and a couple other girls. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. The porn stars had carpooled. Luann looked up and gave me a watery smile while I practically ran to her.

"Oh baby, they're gonna take everything." Her tears were hot on my neck while she sobbed and Chantal gave me a cool look.

"What?" I asked her harshly as I rubbed a hand over Luann's back.

"You get a new job, a new husband and suddenly we're not on your radar anymore Milla. Shit's been hitting us for weeks now and you don't care." Her cool look turned into a glare and I felt tears come into my eyes.

"I do care. I won't use excuses, but I do care about you all and I care about CaraCara."I cried against Luann's hair and she straightened herself up and brushed my tears from my face.

"Look at us, crying over this shit. Let's go to the office and I'll fill you in on what's goin down." I nodded and felt some satisfaction as she glared at Chantal.

"What's happening?" I sat on the couch and leaned back. I was still tired, but she needed me

"Well there's this pile of shit named Georgie Caruso. He's trying to steal my girls and it's worked on a few of them. Then there's the FBI, they should be here in a few minutes to clean us out. I need your help talking to the girls and helping me get their retainers ready." She was suddenly the strong woman I loved and respected.

"Jesus Christ Luann. We spent most of the day together yesterday and we've been talking every day. Why didn't you tell me?" I was hurt and upset that I couldn't have helped her sooner.

"You've been goin through your own shit baby. With Donna, the new job and now the baby…I couldn't ask you to put that all aside to help me. Now it's too deep and I need you." She grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes before she sat up straight and steeled her resolve.

"Just tell me what to do." After that I sat in her office and started cutting checks as our girls and the boys started filing in. This was going to clean out her reserves and I felt sick. This was the ATF bitch's doing. Making sure Otto's Old Lady couldn't take care of herself. The Caruso guy just sounded like an asshat but he could be dealt with. Suddenly there was a pounding on the door and my stomach dropped, the FBI was here and if that wasn't the worst of it, my cell started ringing. Yep, when it rains it pours.

"Hey baby." I said as I snuck out of the office and went to the back.

"Hey baby, _that's _all that you have to say. Jesus Christ, I wake up and you're gone and no one knows where you are. Was I talking to myself last night? Fuck Milla, how can I keep you safe if you won't fucking listen to me. Where the fuck are you?" Juice was irate and I couldn't blame him.

"I'm with Luann. Some shit's going down at CaraCara and she needed me." I couldn't keep the annoyance out of my voice and I heard an angry exhale from his end.

"You stay right the fuck there. Jesus Christ, Jesus Fucking Christ! I'll be there to escort your ass home and you'll be spending the day playing cards with the Prospect in the clubhouse. How could you do that shit?" He hung up and I knew the question was full on rhetorical.

I went back to the office and finished cutting the checks while the FBI systematically cleaned out the space. Everyone was jumpy and on edge. As I finished the last of the checks, Chantal came to the door jamb and leaned against it, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Listen Mills, I'm sorry ok. I'm just used to you being around all the time, being my girl. Luann told me about the baby. I know you wanted this so I really am happy for you. I love you girl and I guess it's easier to fight you and blame you than the FBI or Caruso. Truce." I got out from behind the desk and hugged her.

"Hey Mills can I talk to you?" Brit poked her head in the door and Chantal let go of me before she rushed out. I didn't know why but there seemed to be tears in her eyes.

"What is it Brit?" I sat on the edge of the des and she simply stood by the door.

"I just got a call from my kid's school and I brought Lyla and Ima with me. Can you give them a ride home? I wouldn't ask if it weren't a big deal." Brit was right; as far as porn stars went she was the most responsible of the lot.

"No problem." She smiled and went out the door before I heard two familiar voices. I groaned and went out.

"You don't have to worry about Georgieboy." My brother had his hand on Luann's shoulder and looked up when he saw me. "Hey Milla."

"Hey guys, you look like hell Uncle Bobby." I went over and gave him a hug, ignoring the daggers my husband's eyes were shooting at me.

"I feel it too darlin'." He kissed my cheek and the smell of booze and pussy made my stomach turn. I went up to Juice after the embrace was broken and rose up to kiss his cheek. He let out a sigh and wrapped me in his arms. I smiled and breathed in the smell of him before I moved away.

"We have to take care of some stuff. Promise me you won't go anywhere without Luann." He brushed my hair off my face and rubbed his thumb over the sensitive spot behind my ear.

"I have to bring Lyla and Ima home, then I promise to just check in with Luann and head home. I'll lock all the doors have my beretta naked on the table next to me. Ok?" I gave him my best wide eyed look and he smiled.

"Ok, baby. I love you." He leaned in and kissed me gently before he followed the guys out of the studio. I gave Luann a hug and assurances I'd be back and went to my jeep where Ima and Lyla were waiting.

"Hey girls." I gave them each a hug and made them get in the jeep, then we were on our way. We took a detour at the pharmacy so I could pick up some stuff I'd forgotten the night before but the girls were cool about it. As Lyla began telling me about her son's new fascination with anime, Ima got a text and looked excited.

"Mills babe, can you drop me off at the gas station on First and Limon. I'm meeting up with someone there." She gave me a smile and my brow furrowed.

"Is everything alright Ima?" I asked as I took the turn that would put me onto first.

"Yeah, I just have to meet someone." Lyla and I shared a look but I shrugged and continued my progress.

We drove to the gas station and suddenly my stomach started rolling. There was a bright red Mercedes parked next to a dark Lexus, not the usual cars in the neighborhood. As soon as we stopped this big black guy got out of the Lexus, while a smarmy looking white guy got out of the 'Vette with another white guy as big as the black guy. This couldn't be good. Ima made to get out of the car and I grabbed her arm. The very last thing I wanted was for her to go with those punks. Ima got impatient and tore herself from my hand and got out.

"Ima, baby, we're here for you doll. Lyla, good to see you. Who is this lovely piece of ass?" He asked as he looked me over and my hand went to my gun. I didn't have a chance to grab it before the black guy tore open my door and yanked me out of the Jeep by my hair.

"Get off me you fucking asshole!" I shouted as He pressed me against my car by my hair.

"Bossman asked a question." He said quietly, dangerously and I spit in his face. He didn't like that and backhanded me.

"That was the stupidest thing you've ever done." I whispered back just as dangerously.

"Her Dad's president of the Sons of Anarchy, you don't mess with that shit." Ima said and I glared with her out of the eye that wasn't swelling. The man's hand had to have been huge I was hurting from my eye to my chin and he hadn't even punched me.

"And my brother's the VP and husband's a member too. You done fucked up boys." I said as I spit the blood that was collecting in my mouth on the man holding me. Yeah it wasn't smart but it was all I could think to do. To prove how stupid it was, he hit me again, this time harder and I saw stars.

"Those pussies, they came to my studio, tried to threaten me. Well I have two messages for them. Listen close bitches. One, if the biker boys come back I'll be doing a new video "Georgie does the Sons" line them up and jam my dick in all their asses while the camera rolls. Two, I see you with any of _my_ girls and I'll be breaking you into the business. Got a tight little ass on you, tits aren't bad either." He came close and groped my breast as I tried to remain conscious. Lyla made a move toward me and the other bit of muscle gave her a rabbit punch. I couldn't see well but it looked like her nose was bleeding. After that the man holding me let me go I sunk to the ground while Lyla came and helped me up. She held me while the men got in the cars with Ima and drove off. I put a hand to my stomach before I doubled over and vomited right in the parking lot. Lyla walked me to the passenger's side and helped me in.

"You stay awake, I'll bring us to CaraCara Luann will know what to do." After that was a blur. All I remember was Luann shrieking, bright lights and the next thing I knew I was in the waiting room of St. Thomas with a cold compress to my eye and Luann shaking me to keep me awake. I was obviously concussed.

"Bloody hell!" I looked out of my good eye and saw my brother come into the room with Chibs behind him.

"I told you not to stir things up. Look what that asshole did to them." Jax moved over and took the compress from Lyla's nose while Chibs got a look at the side of my face.

"This was Caruso?" He asked before he replaced the compress to Lyla's nose and inspected me.

"Who do you think?" She practically shrieked at him.

"His goons actually." I said as I moved the pack further up my face. "The big black one bashed my face in."

"Little prick." Chibs spat out while he made sure my face was covered.

"You guys musta really put the fear of god into him. Tell them what Georgie said." She ordered us and I tried to clear out my head, concussed and pregnant were not a good combo. Suddenly my head started reeling and all I could hear were mumbles.

"Milla, hey Millipede. Stay with me." Jax said as he took my face in my hands, "Did Caruso really say that shit about you?"

"The prick said he'd break me in, then grabbed my tit. Have Juice kill him for me will ya?" I asked before a wave of nausea took hold of me and I doubled over in pain.

"We'll take care of it sweetheart." He kissed the good side of my face and got up to leave before Luann yelled at him. He quickly put her in her place and left. Pretty soon the ER doctor got a look at me and decided I needed to be held overnight for observation. Oh the joys of head trauma.

Later that night I was sitting in my hospital room, watching a documentary on the History Channel. Tara had just left for the night and Luann had a meeting with my brother so I was alone. I sighed and put my hand on my stomach; I'd screwed up and put my baby in danger. I should have just brought Ima home and went back to the studio. Now I had a concussion, black eye, split lip and a hairline fracture near my socket. The man had put a lot of force behind his hand. I sighed and leaned back in the pillows and dozed. I was bolted awake when I heard loud voices out in the hall.

"Sir, visiting hours were finished two hours ago." A nurse was pleading.

"I don't care, that's my fucking wife in there. Let me through!" I heard Juice's voice and didn't know whether to grin or grimace. Suddenly he burst through the door and came to my bed, a look of relief on his face when he saw I was awake and relatively unharmed.

"Hey baby." He came up to the bed and I gave the nurse a pointed look. It was perfectly within his rights to be with me. She nodded and walked out while he came up and crawled into bed with me.

"You take out Caruso babe?" I asked as I got comfortably situated into his arms.

"We had some baseball practice. I cracked the guy who got you and don't worry Georgie boy won't be bothering you. We put the fear of the cut in him." He held me tighter.

"I love you baby." I yawned and he rested his head on mine.

"You and the peanut get some rest. I'll make sure you don't fall asleep. I love you two." He kissed my forehead and held me while I started to doze feeling safe for the first time since I ran into Georgie and his goons.


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Three**

"I'm sorry, Mr. Oswald cannot meet with you today sir. He has several pressing matters that he must see to immediately. Yes, I will be sure to tell him that. Have a lovely day." I spoke cheerfully into the phone and typed the information into my list of notes for the day. I had been so busy that I hadn't had time to eat and the baby was letting me know.

"Hello Milla, is my husband busy?" I looked up and gave a bright smile to Karen. She was a good woman and had gotten over her distaste for SAMCRO after the events in Funtown. I placed a finger up to give her a minute before I buzzed the intercom. "Karen's here to see you Elliot."

"Send her in Milla, thank you." I grinned and got up to take Karen's coat before she went in, that's when I noticed Tristen sitting in the reception area looking bored.

"Hey Tris." I greeted as I put Karen's coat in the special niche with Elliot's and mine.

"Hey Milla, I didn't know you were working today. Dad said someone hurt you. I wanted to visit you but he said you got out of the hospital." She got out of the chair and came up to me. She had a sad look on her face as she traced the yellowing bruise that still covered most of the right side of my face,

"I'm fine Tris, wanna come sit at my desk for a while? I'm still working but we could chat and Juice put some new stuff on my phone that you could figure out, then tell me how to use it." She grinned and nodded as she followed me into my work space. Oswald Construction had a receptionist and her desk was in the main area. As Mr. Oswald's personal assistant I had a partitioned area next to his office. It was convenient for private chats but Juice and I had learned that passionate trysts were not meant for the area.

After about 45 minutes Tristen was busy adding different applications to my IPhone, under the restriction that they must be free and useful, though I did hear the sound of bubble wrap being popped. Tristen had also kindly taught me how to use the application Juice had put on the phone that was a virtual phone tree, it would automatically call people in sequence or send out simultaneous texts to everyone on the list or "tree". She'd sent out a "test" text to everyone on the tree with Juice at the head and he'd sent a text almost immediately to make sure I was ok. It's how I learned that the texts were prefaced with "alert", I had Tris close the app after that, especially when my mother called and Jax was nearly frantic, he'd been especially protective after the Caruso situation.

"Hey baby." Tristen and I looked up to see Juice grinning as he leaned against the partition. Tristen smiled shyly while I got up and gave my husband a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"After the heart attack you gave me with the text I thought I'd come see what's up. Also, it was a direct order from Jax."He smiled and leaned against the wall. "Hey Tristen, how you doing?"

"I'm good Mr. Ortiz." She ducked her head, she was doing a lot better but she still was nervous around men.

Juice nodded and watched me work for a while before he grabbed a chair from the reception area and brought it in. The door opened and Karen came out, not looking happy.

"Tristen, we're going home." She said tersely before she saw Juice sitting in the other seat. "Oh, hello Mr. Ortiz. Here on _club_ business?"

Juice and I shared a look at her tone. She'd gotten over her distaste of SAMCRO for the most part but it seemed like there were going to be occasional flare-ups. Juice simply shrugged before he flashed her his devastating smile.

"No Mrs. Oswald, I just came to check on Milla. There was a miscommunication with her phone." He was such a charmer.

"Of course, it's nice to see a man putting his family first for once. Tristen say goodbye to Milla, we're going home." Tristen stood up and gave me a hug before she handed me my phone and walked out with Karen. Juice gave me a wide eyed look and it was my turn to shrug. They hadn't fought a lot from what I could see when they did it was a blowout.

"Milla, I need your assistance with something." Elliot's voice came through the intercom sounding strained and I grabbed some incense from my desk drawer. He had high blood pressure and I did what I could to help calm him down.

"I'll be back babe." I whispered and Juice nodded.

"Milla, I have a favor to ask you. This is something that goes far beyond your duties as my personal assistant." Elliot looked heartbroken and my heart went out to him.

"What do you need Elliot?" I sat in his guest chair and looked expectantly at him.

"I need you to find a way to keep tabs on Karen. I think…I think she may be having an affair." He brought his fist to his mouth and I got up and went to him. I placed a comforting hand to his shoulder and he patted it.

"I'm gonna need to bring my husband in on this. He's the surveillance master." Elliot nodded and took a deep breath.

"I trust Ortiz, he's a good man. Better than even your father gives him credit for. Take the rest of the day off Milla, I will. Just bring me anything you get when you get it." I nodded as I squeezed his shoulder and got out of the room.

Later that night I lay in Juice's arms. He had spent the evening teaching me everything he knew about surveillance and doing some quick searches of Karen's credit cards and bank statements. There was some unusual activity but nothing concrete. Eventually I was just exhausted and Juice joined me in bed. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was barely eleven thirty and it made me laugh.

"What's so funny babe?" Juice asked as he kissed the unbruised temple and put a possessive hand over my steadily swelling abdomen.

"Did you ever think we'd be the ones living in boring domesticity?" I smiled and snuggled deeper into his arms. I could practically feel his smile as he answered.

"Domestic yes, baby. I always wanted this domestic thing with you but don't think for a second our lives will ever be boring." I saw the wisdom in his words and a yawn escaped. Soon enough I fell asleep with his hand running over my stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Four**

"I'm going to call your teacher this afternoon Ellie doll. I can't believe you're father isn't doing anything." I was driving Ellie and Kenny to school for the fourth morning in a row and I was getting sick of Opie's attitude. I may have loved them like they were my own but he was their father, he had responsibilities.

"It isn't gonna fix anything. Mommy will still be dead." I looked in the backseat and saw the sad look in her eyes and my heart broke.

"Ellie, baby…I'm going to go talk to your teacher right now." I pulled into a vacant spot and waited for the kids to unbuckle before I got out of the car. I leaned down to give Kenny a hug, "Hey big man, why don't you head into your class and see if Hunter wants to play with those new cars I bought you?"

"Ok Auntie Milla." He gave me a hug before he ran off to find his best friend.

"Come on Ellie, let's talk to your teacher." She sighed in defeat and led me to her room.

"Ellie, come play with me!" One of the girls from her class called to her and I knelt down to get a hug. She looked at her friend then looked at me and gave me a hug.

"I love you Ellie doll, Nita's going to pick you up tonight." She nodded and ran to her friend.

I stood up and found the teacher at her desk reading a book ignoring the chaos around her. This explained a lot. With a deep breath I walked up to her desk and rapped my knuckles against the wood.

"Just play kids, class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes." She said in a bored voice and I felt my pregnancy hormones kicking in.

"Excuse me but I'm not one of your _kids_" I said snidely as she put down her book and looked at me.

"Ummm, how can I help you?" She stuffed her book in her desk drawer and I saw the cover. I doubted the principal would be ok with her reading _Delta of Venus_ in the classroom.

"Hello, my name is Milla Ortiz and I am one of Ellie Winston's caregivers and her godmother. I believe that you and I have a big problem that needs to be discussed." I stood and crossed my arms over my chest. The baby had turned in my womb so now I had a decent sized baby bump and couldn't cross my arms like a badass anymore.

"Listen, Miss Ortiz, I can't control what gets said in the play ground. They haven't come to blows or had any physical contact so my hands are tied. I've also never heard anything negative said." She looked bored and I took a deep breath.

" Maybe you've never heard anything because you have your nose buried in erotic novels." She looked shocked but I continued."They may not have come to blows but I have to comfort Ellie every night because that little bastard keeps telling her that it's her fault that her mom's dead and that her dad doesn't love her. He's hurt her in such a way that she may never get over it. If you don't put a stop to it, I'll have to go above you and get him transferred to another class and you may well be out of a job. Oh and it's _Mrs. _Ortiz, I didn't go through all the trouble of marrying him just to have it ignored."

"Listen Mrs. Ortiz, I'll do what I can. I'll start by moving Tyler to a new work group and getting Ellie a meeting with the school counselor. Please don't tell my boss." She pleaded with me and I gave her a cold look.

"Make sure that my Ellie doll has a _good_ day today and doesn't have to call me to cry it out. If she does I'll be going to your boss." With that threat I turned around and started walking away before I heard her mutter something.

"Biker whore." I turned on my heel and stalked back to her desk and before I knew it I had her by her collar and half hoisted off the desk.

"You better learn respect bitch. You see this crow?" I let go and held her with one hand while I shook my sleeve down my arm. "This means that I'm an Old Lady, this means that I belong to the club and the club protects its own. The next time I hear you say a thing about me or anyone else in my family I'll haul your pathetic ass off that roof."

I nodded my head up and her eyes followed as she whimpered. It felt good to have my hands on her, it would have felt better to pummel her puggish face in but even I knew it would have been stupid.

"Take care of this shit and keep your mouth shut or I won't be the only one visiting." With that parting remark I let her go and she collapsed in her chair. With a deep breath and head held high I walked out of the room and got in my car. I suddenly felt a craving that only Juice could satisfy.

I pulled into the new Cara Cara and sighed. It was great that Luann got everything she wanted but she and I had been at odds for weeks. For the first time ever we weren't on speaking terms, but as long as a Son was there I was welcome. I walked into the studio and found Juice with Chibs talking by the door. I continued my progress and Juice saw me before I got to him.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" He hugged me and lifted me from the ground before giving me a deep kiss.

"I had to kick some ass today, made me kinda horny." He gave me his goofy grin while he pulled me in as tight as my baby bump would allow.

"Ellie's teacher?" He asked as he placed a kiss behind my ear.

"Bitch called me a biker whore." I growled and he muttered an oath before he let me go.

"I wish I could take care of that itch you've got baby but we're here on guard detail until Clint and Rico take our places. Once that happens we'll go to the clubhouse and I'll make you feel all kinds of good." He kissed me again and I heard Chibs swear behind us.

"I go to get a coffee and you two are still goin at it. I thought marriage was supposed to stop the sex." He leaned against the couch and I pulled Juice into another kiss. When we broke apart he took my hands in his and grinned at Chibs.

"Maybe that's what happens to other people brother, but I've got the sexiest wife in the goddamn world to come home to." He lifted my hands to his lips and I smiled.

"Ok, since you can't take care of my itch right now I'll split but I'll be waiting for you at the garage. I also need your help with a little snooping. Elliot's on vacation with the family so this is the perfect time to look into Karen's club account." I winked at him and he caught my meaning.

"Sounds good baby, I love you and the peanut." He kissed my hand again and I turned and gave Chibs a hug before I walked out. Luann was outside ranting into her phone when she spotted me. She hastily said something before she walked over to my car.

"Mills, baby can we talk? I'm so sorry baby." She pleaded with me and I gave her my cold look.

"Sorry enough to drop Ima?" I asked as I unlocked my car. I started to open it but she put her hip into it and closed it.

"I can't and you know I can't. She's our biggest draw baby. I get rid of her and I lose money,_ the club_ loses money." She pleaded and I kept the dispassionate look on my face.

"Is money all you care about? Money doesn't even enter into this. She _planned _to go with Georgie, was gonna leave you high and dry and you just let it slide because a few horny slobs like jerking off to her loose, used cunt. What if those thugs would have killed me or Lyla? I guess that being your baby girl doesn't matter because I don't have hundred dollar bills flying out of my ass. My baby could have died Luann, did you think about that? What if the concussion would have messed me up or the bastard would have punched me in the stomach? You know what, never mind. I won't get through to you. I've given you the choice of me or Ima and you've chosen. Have a good life Luann; I hope you finally get enough money to fill that empty spot in your soul." She stared at me gobsmacked as I pushed her out of the way and got in my car. I held in my tears miraculously well until I got to TM, then they flowed as I sat in the parking lot sobbing uncontrollably. Suddenly there was a knock at my window and I turned to see my mom. I unlocked the door and she opened and leaned against it.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked as she stared at me. She'd seemed off since her accident so I didn't know what I could say that wouldn't send her into either a rage or tears. She'd never been like this and it was terrifying.

"I finally had it out with Luann. It's over, she made her choice. Ima won the day, yay for Ima." I gave a mirthless cheer and had to chuckle.

"Come on baby, no one would choose a porn slut over you. It's just business. As soon as that whore stops earning money she'll be out on her ass and so used up that no one will hire her." She took my hand and led me out of the car. It was strange, this was the calmest I'd seen her since the night of Bobby's party. I wished it would stay that way

"You'd choose me right Ma, even if the bitch was pulling in six figures for the club." I sighed and mom gave me a humorless smile.

"You're my baby and that bitch hurt you and could've cost me my grandbaby. Bitch is lucky she isn't dead." She gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked me to the office. I was suddenly exhausted and nothing felt as good as lounging on the couch. Mom worked around the office while I dozed before she got a call and tore out. I was used to her erratic behavior and didn't bat an eyelash as I heard a big vehicle peel out of the parking lot. A few minutes later I heard bikes pull out and rolled my eyes. Shit was gonna go down, it was obvious. As I dozed the office door opened and I looked into my husband's smiling face.

"Hey baby." I didn't say anything as I got up and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him into the office. He grinned wider as he pressed me against the door and locked it. "Still got that itch you need scratched?"

"Yeah Papi." I whispered against his lips as he pulled me tighter against him.

He walked me back to the couch and pulled me so I was straddling him and I leaned down to kiss him again. After that it was a flurry of limbs and clothes as he took care of me in the way only he could. As soon as we were cooled down we got dressed and I sat in his arms, content and happy simply because he was with me.

Too soon he had to go back to club work and I decided to help around the office. Juice's snitch in the bank was out sick for the day so my snooping had to be postponed. Mom had become touchy again so I did a complicated dance to keep from brushing up against her or entering her personal space. Eventually she got sick of me and sent me to the clubhouse. I didn't feel like going in so I had a perfect vantage point of my brother rolling up with the whore-who-shall-not-be-named clinging to him. I stalked over just in time to hear the end of her "woe is me routine".

"What the fuck Jax!" I yelled as I stood next to him. He looked down as Ima came up.

"He's just looking out for the talent Milla. Never know when Georgie might come back. Maybe you should get your own escort." She smirked and before I could even think I'd given her a left hook. "You crazy bitch!

"You're a lying whore. The _only_ reason you're still breathing is because your _assets_ are making the club money but don't you think for a minute that you're worth a goddamn thing." I spit in her face and made to walk away before she laughed.

"I'm worth enough that Luann chose me, the _club_ chose me." It stung but I wouldn't let her win.

"Jax?" I turned to my brother as he stood with his hands in his pockets, unwilling to interfere.

"Yeah Millipede?" He asked as he looked up at me.

"What would happen if you had proof that his cunt was the reason Georgie's goons attacked me?" She looked up with a smirking smile.

"She'd be in a shallow grave outside the city limits. You're a founder's kid, an Old Lady and my sister. Retaliation would come first." She looked like the wind had been knocked out of her and it was my turn to smirk. Of course he was blowing smoke, a Son would never hurt a woman but the threat was there, the fear was there and it's what I wanted.

"You heard that list babe, for those reasons I'm better than you and always will be. Worm your way into the club if you want but you'll never be anything more than a living, breathing cum rag." I nudged her shoulder and walked to my car. I was fed up with everything and just wanted to sink into a warm tub with a good book.

Hours later I lay in bed with my book resting against the rounded swelling of my stomach. I'd finally found an activity where the bump wasn't a hindrance but an asset. As I got to a good part I heard the back door open and heavy footsteps make their way up the stairs. He was supposed to be at the Wrap party, I supposed that he had good reason for coming home. He didn't say a word as he started stripping and crawled into bed; he pulled my book from my hands and moved until he was over me.

"Have fun at the party?" I asked as he moved the sheet down my already naked body and began to run his hands up my legs.

"All I could think about in that room with all that porn pussy was the fact that I had a woman at home better than anything I could get there. A woman who can turn me on with a smile and makes me cum so hard it triggers the Richter scale, a woman who's having my baby. As soon as I thought about all that I was the one with the itch and you're the only one who can scratch it." He moved my legs apart and knelt between them, waiting for the signal from me.

"If I must I must." I gave a long suffering sigh before I moved to give him better access, he took the hint and I smiled before he stole the breath from my lungs with a well placed lick.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Five**

"Shit…" I whispered as Juice came back in the car and showed me what his snitch had dug up.

"I'm sorry baby; I wish they wouldn't have found anything." He gave my hand a squeeze before we pulled out and went toward the garage. The guys were on a Charity run for a children's hospital and that left Juice in charge of the club shit while they were away, well Juice and Piney since no matter what my husband did my dad seemed to be unable to trust him. As we drove I looked closer at the details in the statements.

Every Thursday Karen had a room booked at La Hacienda and there were always room service charges, champagne, strawberries and the like. Rich people always seemed to lack imagination. Before I got pregnant Juice and I made tequila and ice cubes work for us. I needed to get myself in check; everything seemed to lead to sex with me lately. Tara said it was normal; my libido was overactive because of the extra hormones being pumped through my body. I gave myself a mental shake and resumed my scrutiny. With each page Karen's infidelity shone through like a beacon.

"I never took Karen for the Sugar Mama type. I thought she'd be with someone older and richer than Elliot." I raised my eyebrows and nodded, Juice and I were on the same page with that assumption.

"Yeah, this shit is going to make the business trip extra awkward." I looked up and saw Juice scowling; he hated the idea of me going out of town for a week.

"Baby, it's just a business trip. Do you know how awkward it would look if Elliot didn't have his personal assistant with him? Hell he has that retreat in two weeks and the fact that I'm not going to be at the hotel with the other PAs is already a thorn in his side. This was what we negotiated baby, you signed off on it." I reminded him as I put the papers back in the folder.

"I know I signed off on it, but I don't have to like it. You're sure the venue is secure?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I know you've been through every report on the place, you know it's secure. Besides the Newark Charter knows I'm going to be there so all the bases are covered." He nodded to himself and we pulled into a parking spot. I unbuckled and scooted over in my seat, "Hey, I love you."

"You know I love you." He said as he leaned down and kissed me deeply. As we got out of the car Piney came up to us. As I stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, he put an arm around me and squeezed.

"There was an accident on the ride, Clay needs me to go collect Tig and his bike, I think he wants me to leave the FatBoy on the side of the road but I'll get that too. I need you to watch the office, "He gave me a look before he turned to Juice, "and I need you to stay on the horn, see if anything else needs to happen."

Juice and I nodded before Piney kissed my cheek and went to the flatbed. I was worried about Bobby, but I knew that if it was anything too bad Piney would have had us trailing behind. As it was I simply went to the office to take care of the business at hand. A few hours later I got a call.

"Mills I have a favor to ask you?" A standard nongreeting from Piney.

"What is it old timer?" I asked and got a chuckle in response.

"Tig's hurt pretty bad and I need someone to watch him for a few hours. I know you have things to do but we're kind of in a bind." I couldn't say no, but I wanted to.

"Yeah Uncle Piney, I'll do it." Suddenly I was talking to dead air and I took a couple of calming breaths. Tig and I had had issues for the last few years. Usually it had something to do with Juice but the tension had escalated to an unbearable pitch since Donna died. He knew my suspicions and I knew that he knew more than he was letting on. We were essentially at a stalemate since neither of us wanted to talk about it. With a last mental shake I went to the clubhouse and found a pair of clean white sheets before I went on a search for the cleanest dorm room. There was no way I was going to Tig's house of horrors. I found the one dorm room that didn't smell like stale pussy and staler cigarettes and changed the sheets. Now the bed was ready for Tig.

I went to the storage room and got the good first aid kit, prepared to fix him up the best I could. What I really wanted was Tara, she could do the gross stuff while I fetched her shit. As I was getting bottled water from the kitchen I heard the door open. Tig hobbled in supported by Juice and Ma, I raised an eyebrow. Mom wasn't supposed to be there, she had a meeting or something but I just decided to ignore it.

"Where we takin' him?" Mom asked as Tig swung his arm over and almost got Juice's eye with a krazy straw protruding from a bottle of tequila. I rolled my eyes and made the follow me motion. Juice immediately complied and Tig chuckled.

"You'll always follow that pussy around won't you Juicy? Good, you need a good woman to keep you on the ground. She's good for you." Tig slurred and I felt a strange need to hug him but I squashed it down. Soon enough he was situated while Juice and Ma gave me the rundown of his injuries. I was supposed to keep him on the bed, off his leg and be sure that his stitches didn't pop. They were all things I could do as long as he didn't talk too much and force me to take a hammer to his kneecap, I'd done it before. Soon enough I was left alone with Tig while he lounged on the headboard and continued to sip the tequila through the damn krazy straw. Suddenly he looked at me and his eyes were sharp and alert, not drunk and unfocused like they'd been earlier.

"What?" I asked as he nodded to the chair by the bed and I sat, curious about his sudden lucidity.

"I'm sorry kiddo, so fucking sorry." I had an inkling about what he was talking about but I couldn't be sure.

"Sorry about Donna, the whole fucking tragedy. I know that you know. I also know the retard hasn't told you a fucking thing. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry." He took a contemplative sip and something clicked in my head and the air suddenly left the room.

"You pulled the trigger, didn't you?" He looked at me and there was this shadow behind his eyes. I didn't need to be told.

"I thought you knew the whole story." He put the tequila on the nightstand and I held my face in my hands as my head spun. I'd come to terms with the fact that my dad had ordered the hit. I'd come to terms with the fact that it was a tragedy but that it was meant to protect the club. I could understand it all but accepting it was another story.

"I knew a good portion. I'd just assumed that you arranged for outside contractors to handle it. There's no shortage of gangbangers out there looking to make some extra cash." I was almost frightened by the calm that came over me; it wasn't the numb or my crazy. I was well and truly calm; it was like that last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. "I should kill you right now, take one of the AKs and put three rounds through your skull. Fuck Tig, she was like a fucking sister to me. Closer than blood."

"I know that Mills, believe me I know that. I did what I did to protect the club and I won't apologize for that. What are you gonna do with this?" He asked as he looked at me and I took a deep breath.

"What I've been doing the last five months. I'm going to continue living my life, helping Ope with the kids, being a good Old Lady and supporting the club." I looked into his eyes and he nodded. "That's not to say that I'll stop Ope from tearing you limb from limb if he finds out. I'll just stand to the side and watch it unfold, maybe get some perverse satisfaction from watching you bleed."

"That's fair." He grabbed the bottle and took a sip again.

"We aren't ok Tig but I won't do a fucking thing with this knowledge. There's something going on with the club, something big that threatens to tear us apart. The club needs all the bodies it can get at the table and the club needs you, Dad needs his loyal SaA. For that reason I'll hold my tongue, I'll live with this knowledge." I sighed and Tig gave me a look as his lucidity started to slip.

"What about Opie? You gonna tell him anything?" He put the bottle back on the nightstand and rested his hands over his stomach.

"You fucking kidding me? The man's a wreck, barely even a shell. The club is everything to him right now and if he found this out it would destroy him. I have hope that he can get back most of what he was but if he found this shit out…Shit Tig it would be the most awful thing I could possibly do to him and Ellie and Kenny need a goddamn father not an automaton. If Opie finds out it won't be from me." I ran my fingers through my hair and Tig clapped a hand over my knee.

"Good, good…Clay raised a good kid, loyal kid. The retard's lucky to have you." Tig started to close his eyes and I poked his shoulder, "Yeah."

"One more thing Tig, call my husband a retard again and you'll find yourself on the business end of a ball peen hammer." He nodded and his eyes closed, he was asleep. I briefly contemplated smothering him with a pillow but I couldn't. Dad needed him, the club needed him and if retribution was to come it wouldn't be me dispensing it. Besides I'd already come to the conclusion that Stahl was the central force of all this and she needed to die before any of us could find closure. I'd never killed before but with Stahl in my sights I knew I could pull that trigger.


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Six**

"How's Chibs doing baby?" I was sitting at the hotel in Newark waiting for the go ahead from the airport. I was already delayed by two days and I was desperate to get back to Charming. I missed my family and hearing about Chibs last night had filled me with an even greater desperation.

"He's in ICU; you need to be home baby. There's shit going down and I want you safe." There was an urgency in his voice and I felt tears filling my eyes.

"I wanna be home too baby but this weather's crazy, a blizzard in October. What's that shit?" I was a Californian, I didn't know how to function in snow.

"Try Queens in February baby. When do you think the planes are gonna take off? Also, I wanna know how Elliot got back before you baby?" I heard a shout over the phone and Juice's response to "wait a damn minute" before he huffed into the phone.

"Karen called talking reconciliation so I stayed here as Elliot's proxy, that's how. Listen, I'll call you when I get the go ahead. You better go, they need you. Love you and the peanut does too. I should know, she started kicking when we heard your voice." The baby had started kicking during the trip and I was disappointed that I couldn't share that with Juice yet.

"She? What makes you so sure the peanut's a girl Mills?" Juice sounded happy with the pronouncement and I smiled. It was the response I'd hoped for. In the patriarchal world we lived in sons were the hot commodity, girls were the afterthought. Mom had said more than once that she was glad she got her boys before I came along. Someday I'd try to give Juice a son but I knew he wouldn't care as long as the baby and I were safe and healthy.

"Just a feeling, we love you." He said the same and we hung up. I was a mess of jangled nerves as I leaned against the headboard and watched a movie. The weather had gotten better but I still hadn't heard from the airport.

"I really miss your daddy peanut. You don't know him yet but he loves us more than anything else in the world. When we get home I'm gonna make him talk to you, you need to know his voice." With that thought I smiled and got off the bed. Since I had to wait I would take advantage of the large bathtub. I was finally calm and relaxed when, of course, my phone rang. Sighing, I let the water out of the tub and answered.

"Hey Ma, what's up? Chibs ok?" My heart beat a little faster as I thought about Chibs.

"Yes honey, Chibs is doing a lot better. Are you sitting down baby?" Her voice cracked and suddenly I felt my stomach clench, something was really wrong.

"I'm in the tub. What happened to Juice, Mama? If it was Daddy or Jax you'd wait until I got home. What the fuck happened to my husband!" I shrieked into the phone as my heart rate sped. I tried to calm myself down but I knew I wouldn't be able to until I knew what was happening.

"Calm down baby, he and the boys got picked up; they're being taken to county for processing." Suddenly the world spun and I grabbed the garbage can that was conveniently by the tub. After I emptied my stomach and wiped my tears I got on the phone again.

"What happened? He just talked to me a few hours ago." It made no sense, only a few hours had elapsed and suddenly my greatest fears had been realized.

"I can't tell you over the phone baby. Find a way to get out of the blizzard zone and get on the first plane you can. We need you home. I need to make sure you're safe." There was the "S" word again. I wouldn't feel safe until my husband held me in his arms again.

"I'll call you as soon as I figure something out." I hung up and put the phone on top of the toilet. As soon as I'd hoisted myself up and taken a shower I ran into the bedroom and made sure everything was packed as I threw on my winter attire. If I had to sit in the back of a farm truck to get home I would. Luckily I didn't have to. With a quick call to the airport I discovered that a plane was leaving for Oakland in three hours and I could still get tickets. After a quick over the phone purchase I went down to the lobby and had them hail a cab. I was going home to my family.

Far too many hours later my plane landed in Oakland and I was a nervous wreck. I got my bag from the conveyor belt and practically ran to the exits. As I was getting ready to hail a cab I saw a familiar tanned arm and dark hair in the sunlight. When I'd left Newark it had been pitch black out. The sun was mocking me with its heat and light.

"Milla, babe!" Hearing Chantal's voice was like a beacon in a storm. I needed someone who loved me and since I came to terms with the fact that she did it made things easier.

"Chanty thank god." I hugged her to me as she grabbed my bag in one hand and hand in the other.

"I almost died when I got a call from your mom. Apparently some shit is going down with your husband and she has to do some stuff for the club and your brother's Old Lady had an ER shift or something. Anyway she made it clear that you needed someone to pick you up and I was at the bottom of the list of people she wanted doing it. You ok? How's the baby?" She led me to the ramp and we found her car without incident. I needed to get home and talk to my mother.

"The baby's fine but I feel like my heart has dropped down through my stomach. I _never_ wanted him to go to prison, I've dealt with him being in jail before but prison…shit county, fuck." I still had no idea what happened but I was going to make Mom tell me everything.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm going to stay with you. After Caruso's goons roughed you up I've been worried sick. Thought when you married that idiot he'd have the decency to keep you safe. Stupid fucker, I should have stepped in sooner." She muttered the last but I heard it and it made my stomach clench.

"That's not fair Chanty, not fair at all. The Caruso thing was Ima's fault. When Juice found out he was livid, according to Jax, Chibs had to pull Juice off the guy who cracked me, he was gonna beat his skull in." Thinking about that actually made me smile. My man would kill for me, what more could I ask for?

"Ima, that little prima donna diva bitch. The last time I did a scene with her I pulled her hair so hard a chunk came out. Luann's using it in the blooper reel. It wasn't enough though, not nearly enough for what she let happen to you. I want your opinion baby. I was offered a job at Imagica, it doesn't pay as well as Luann but the job is steadier, more salaried. Should I do it or renew my contract with Luann?" She stared straight ahead but I knew what she was asking me, should she side with Luann or defend me?

"You're the porn savant Chanty, it's up to you." Luann or me, that's what it boiled down to.

"I'll put in my notice with Luann in the morning. This movie was my last contractually obligated film so I'm free to walk. I hope your brother understands." She'd seen Ima climbing all over him and she was having the same conflicting feelings I was.

"If he doesn't understand I'll make him." I rested my head against the headrest and she looked over at me with a smile.

I was wired but somehow I managed to get a light nap in while we drove to Charming. Chantal had always been a good friend and it bothered me that she was putting so much stock in there being an "us". It was like she was waiting for Juice to screw up beyond repair so she could step in and save the day. The only good thing I could find about the situation was the fact that she wasn't trying to sabotage us, she was willing to sit back and let Juice do that on his own. Needless to say she hated Juice and I think that was my biggest problem with the whole situation. I loved him with my whole heart and I wanted others to love him too.

"Milla baby, we're almost to the clubhouse, your mom said there was going to be a meeting with the club lawyer and she wanted you there." I nodded, looked like Jason was going to earn his retainer.

We pulled into the TM lot at the same time as Tara. I was dizzy and tried to get out of the car but my legs wouldn't hold me right so I leaned against it as soon as I managed to hoist myself up. As I started to get my bearings Tara came up to me.

"Milla, you ok sweetheart?" She lifted my chin and looked in my eyes, going into full doctor mode.

"She was fine in the car. Need me to help getting her in there?" Chantal was trying to be friendly but Tara was cold.

"No, thank you for picking her up, we appreciate it." Tara then linked arms with me and walked me into the clubhouse with Chantal on our heels. She'd effectively been dismissed but Chanty wouldn't leave unless it was on her terms. Tara sat me down on the couch and I took a few deep breaths. I tried to remember everything I'd felt seven years ago when Daddy went in for four months on gun running charges. I was scared every fucking day that we'd get a suit at our door saying Dad was dead and that was something I didn't need to think about. My man would be fine, he was with the boys and Dad would figure out a way to keep them safe. I had to think like that or I'd go insane. Chantal perched on the arm of the couch and held my hand in hers.

"What are you doing here?" I looked up to see mom staring down her nose at Chanty.

"You called me and asked me to look after her, so I'm looking after her." Chantal stared hard at my mom and my mom stared back.

"Chanty, I think my mom's looking for a fight. It would be safer for you to leave. I'll call you later, I may need your shoulder to cry on." Chantal looked down and saw something in my eyes that made her back down. She leaned over and kissed my cheek before she glared at my mom and stalked out.

"I should've known better than to call that tart. How're you feeling baby?" She asked as she sat beside me on the couch and took my hand.

"How do you think I feel mom? What the fuck happened? I haven't truly slept in twenty four hours so I'm not in the best temper right now." Mom nodded and brought my hand to her lips.

"There was a shooting at the Christian Center in Morada. It was supposed to be a LOAN meeting, as far as what Opie's told me anyway. Either way Zoebelle's still breathing and our men are in jail." Tara came out of the kitchen just then with three glasses, one with water and the other two with what looked like something stronger.

"We don't have the Aryans watching their backs anymore and with what happened with Otto, god Mom how are they gonna survive? Their colors mark them as dead men." My hands started shaking and mom tried to steady me.

"Your father will think of something baby. He'll protect his men." I nodded and Tara leaned over and looked in my eyes.

"How long have you been sweating like that Milla?" She placed a hand on my forehead and I shrugged. "I'm going to keep an eye on you. With your heart defect and the baby this may be just a bit too much for you."

I chuckled but sucked in a breath when Jason walked in. Mom and I stood up with Tara while he gave us each a hug and a kiss on the cheek. His hug with me lingered for a bit. Jason and I had this mutual flirtation that had been going on for years. Who knew, maybe if Juice wouldn't have entered my life Jason and I could have been something more, but I wouldn't have given up my man for anything in the world. After that he sat down and went through everything. The courts were tying things up and I felt my blood boil, the Aryans would kill our men before the papers were even processed. Mom and Tara offered to put up their houses, Juice and I had everything tied up in our house, even taking out a second mortgage wouldn't do anything. I only had one card to play.

"I'll talk to Elliot, see if he'll help us." Mom reached over and grabbed my hand. Jason nodded and mom walked him out while Tara joined me on the couch.

"I'm going to check your heart rate, ok?" She asked and I nodded, tears pricking my eyes when I saw her fingers press my crow.

"Good, your heartbeat is strong, steady, not too fast or too slow." I took a deep breath and tried to huddle into myself. Mom came in the room and nodded to Tara who got up and joined her in the kitchen. I finally settled down enough that I could trust my voice and took out my phone. Elliot picked up on the second ring.

"Milla, how are you doing? Did you get back to Charming?" He asked and I could tell he was sincere.

"Yeah Elliot I'm back home. I just got back a few hours ago. I need to talk to you about something important. Could we meet in your office later?" I found myself crossing my fingers. The juvenile practice made me smile and I felt slightly better.

"I took the day off to spend with Tristen but I'd be happy to meet with you. Is something wrong?" He genuinely cared for my wellbeing and I decided to tell him the truth.

"Juice, my dad, Jax, Happy Tig and Bobby were taken in last night on some bullshit charges. That's all I can tell you until we have privacy. I wouldn't pull you from Tris if this wasn't important Elliot." I felt a sense of relief when I heard the tone of his voice.

"Meet me at St. Ignatius, Tristen has choir practice. If I can't help you with everyone I'll at least make sure you have your husband back Milla." He hung up after that and I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew I wasn't in the frame of mind to drive but mom would take me. Just as I was about to call mom over and discuss it with her my phone rang again. It was an unfamiliar number and I felt my stomach clench and the breath leave my lungs, feelings I knew never to ignore.

"Hello?" I asked in a small voice as I answered.

"Millicent Ortiz?" A clipped professional asked and I felt my chest tighten.

"Yes sir." My voice was breathy; it was getting hard to take air into my lungs.

"We regret to inform you that your husband, Jean Carlos Ortiz was assaulted in the yard this morning. As of now he is being treated in the prison infirmary for stab wounds to his lower back. Luckily the implement did not puncture any major organs but your husband requires stitches and will be under observation. We will keep you updated if his condition changes. Have a good day Mrs. Ortiz." He hung up and my phone dropped from my hand. I sat staring straight ahead, not seeing anything. I didn't know how long I sat, frozen in body and soul but eventually mom and Tara came out of the kitchen and something must have showed on my face and body language because Tara rushed to me.

"What happened? Look at me Milla, let me see your eyes." I looked at her and still saw nothing. Eventually I focused and saw her flinch. The voice that came out of my mouth was a stranger's, not my own.

"Juice was shanked in the yard this morning, he'll live but he's hurt. They'll keep me informed." I looked forward again and suddenly Tara slapped me.

"No! You aren't going back to that place, he'll survive. He is not Donna. If you need it I'll sedate you but for now you better fucking stay with us." I looked at her in shock and looked over at my mother who looked impressed.

"Dad was supposed to protect them…I was supposed to get my husband back whole and unharmed. If he dies…" I let it drift and Tara slapped me again, "Will you stop fucking slapping me Tara, jesus fuck you're violent today."

"Listen to me, we knew what we signed up for when we became Old Ladies. You grew up with this shit. This is not the end of the world and probably not even the worst thing that could happen this week, hell it may not even be the worst thing to happen _today_. You keep your shit together, the club needs you, I need you, Abel needs you and most importantly your baby needs you. No matter what happens to Juice that little person in you is half him so you better stay with us and stay sane for that little person. You hear me Milla?" She grabbed my face and I nodded. "Good, you're my best friend in the fucking world and _I'd _ be lost without you. Now I'm going to take you with me and we're going to spend the day with Abel and Opie's kids and I'm going to get you fed, make you sleep and make sure you take your meds."

She held out her hand and I took it. She was right, she had become my best friend, I turned to her for everything now and she never turned away. As soon as I was up I collapsed in her arms and she held me while I let the tears out. Juice was hurt and there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about it but pray to a god I wasn't sure existed. Mom came up and held us both in a hug. We three formed the top of the Old Lady Hierarchy, Mom was Queen, Tara and I princesses. I had to stay strong so I could stay on top with them. I couldn't crumble and collapse like a bitch just because my man was hurt. With a deep breath I stopped the tears and Tara and I headed out. Mom had some stuff to do and offered to meet with Elliot for me, I was grateful because I didn't think I could hold it together if I met with an outsider.

A few hours later I had napped, eaten and helped the kids with their homework and I had finally found some semblance of calm. I wouldn't be alright until I could hold Juice in my arms but I could hold it together and be strong for the kids. As I was watching a movie in the den with Ellie and Kenny I heard a car pull up. It was about time Opie came for his kids. Club business or no he couldn't bail on them like Mary had. I was getting ready to help the kids get ready to go when I heard a familiar voice, not Opie's. I smiled my first genuine smile in hours, Lyla was there. Lyla and I had gotten close since the Caruso thing and I considered her a good friend. I also felt the need to talk to someone who wouldn't slap me around. After I kissed Ellie on the top of the head I got off the couch and went to the door, making it just in time to see the door slammed in Lyla's face and Tara stomp off. I stood there, not sure what to do when mom finally saw me.

"Hey baby, the kids doin' ok?" She asked with a smile and I frowned.

"The kids are fine, did I hear Lyla?" I asked, knowing full well I had.

"That her name? All the porn sluts are the same to me, except the skank who wants in your pants, _she's _on my radar." She chuckled and my frown deepened.

"Yeah mom, her name is Lyla and she's my friend. She was the one who took charge when Georgie attacked us. Come in the kitchen mom, I have to talk to you and Tara for a moment." She looked at me for a heartbeat before she nodded and followed me to the kitchen where Tara was already sitting with a cup of coffee. She smiled at me but that smile dropped when she saw the look on my face. I took the seat across from her and Mom took the head of the table, decorum decreed the seating arrangement.

"What'd you wanna talk to us about sweetie?" Mom asked as she sat back in the chair.

"Ok, I know I don't exactly seem stable right now and I realize it. I want you to both know that I'm sorry and I'm working on it but there are a lot of issues going through my head right now. I may be touchy and bitchy but that's a side effect from my husband being fucking _stabbed in the back_. But I digress, I wanted to let you know that if I get too far gone again, like I did with Donna there's a shortass list of people I trust enough to get me out of it. Tara and her fists of fury make that list, Ellie doll and Kenny, if Bobby's out he's there too, Elliot makes the list, I trust him that much. Now's the portion of the list you two may have problems with, Chantal makes the list, she'd fucking die for me Ma and Lyla makes the list too. I love Lyla, I trust Lyla and right now I'm disgusted by the way you treated her." I sat back and the two of them shared a look.

"She's a porn star Milla, we didn't know her from Eve." Tara defended herself and I just gave a blank stare.

"I used to write and direct porn, sometimes I did the makeup and helped prep the set, does that make me untrustworthy too?" I placed my hands over my baby bump and sighed.

"That's completely different, you didn't catch cum or clean it. You were behind the camera baby." I looked at mom and shook my head.

"No it's not different, I may not work in the porn biz anymore but I don't disrespect it either. Porn is just like any other profession, they still do the paper work, still have to follow rules and procedures, the only difference is that the people in front of the camera do it with dicks in their asses and pussies in their faces. I'm not asking you guys to be pro-porn or star in a flick, just be nicer to people I consider friends, ok. I love you both too much to be mad at you." I gave them a sad smile and Tara looked at me.

"I'll try to be nice to Chantal and Lyla for you but that's all I can say for now." She reached over and I took her hand. Mom did the same.

"I'll be nice when you're in the room but as soon as you're gone the gloves are off." I chuckled and looked warmly at my mom.

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you Ma." We held hands for a little while before I yawned.

"Can I get a ride home? I feel like sleeping and I want one of Juice's shirts. I also wanna see how much work I'm gonna have to do. He was alone in the house for a week, I shudder at the thought." I chuckled and mom shot Tara a look.

"You won't have much work to do baby; he spent the week at the clubhouse. It was kinda cute. He whined to anyone who would listen about how much he missed his wife. I thought Happy was gonna cave his skull in." I chuckled and yawned again. "I'll take you home baby."

I nodded and got up. After saying goodbye to my little monsters and kissing Abel Mom and I walked out the door. When we got to the house she walked me to the door and made sure I got in alright before she went to TM to finish the paperwork that had accumulated over the day. Depending on what happened with Juice the next day I'd be at TM helping out, its' what family did. About two hours later I got another call from the prison, this one was muck more welcome than the first. Juice and the others had made bail; he'd be moved from the prison infirmary to St. Thomas in the morning. After I hung up I went to bed wearing one of Juice's shirts and resting my head on his pillow. I sighed as I breathed in his scent, he was gonna be ok and with that thought I finally fell asleep.

**Author's Note: **This is the chapter I've been waiting to write ever since I saw the episode Gilead. I was already loving Juice at that point and when he got shanked it broke my heart and I started thinking about how it would feel for his Old Lady. I guess you can say Milla/Juice evolved from the episode. Now I know Milla can be a little whiney and this situation did not bring out the best in her, but it got me thinking, her parents are Gemma and Clay, drama is in her blood**.** Thank you all for reading and reviewing.


	7. Chapter 7

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Seven**

"He's in 207, I saw him this morning, they have him doped up but he's in good spirits." Tara had greeted me as soon as I walked through the doors I was grateful. She left me outside his room with a hug and I stood outside, terrified of what I'd find. With a deep breath I walked through the door and let it out. Juice was lying in the hospital bed, his eyes were hooded and trained on some nature program. I felt something wet on my cheeks and realized I was crying. I took another deep breath and walked deeper into the room, he sensed my movement and looked over, this time he had a grin on his face.

"Baby, you're home." He tried to move and winced in pain. I rushed to the bed and held his arm down.

"Don't move, you don't wanna break your stitches." I looked up from his hand and saw his eyes on me. "Oh god baby."

I started crying in earnest and he moved his hand to the remote, shutting off the tv and moving up the bed. Once he was more level with me he reached up and caressed my hair.

"Move the rail down Milla, I want you in this bed with me." I shook my head and he reiterated his request.

"Can't, your stitches." I stopped crying and took a shaky breath while he took my hand in his and brought it to his lips.

"Holding my wife in my arms would be worth a few popped stitches, now get in this bed with me and we'll see if we can get the peanut to kick again." I couldn't help but nod as I moved the rail down and gingerly climbed in the bed with him. After only a couple minor sounds of discomfort I was comfortably situated at his side as he held me. "There, now you said my voice set her off, anything yet?"

"Nope, but as soon as she does you'll be the first person other than me to feel. I almost broke a woman's finger in the Newark airport when she tried to touch my stomach." He chuckled and I let my hand run down his chest, then placed it on his heart. He looked at me completely understanding.

"I won't leave you baby, even if I die my ghost is gonna haunt you." I smiled, it was what I needed and before I knew it we'd both fallen asleep.

"Hey babe wake up, how can you sleep through this?" Juice shook me lightly and I opened my eyes to see him grinning at me while his hand was resting on my stomach. The tone of his voice was pure awe and it made me smile as I woke up.

"She knows her Daddy's here." I whispered as I took his hand and placed it where the vibrations were strongest.

"Wow, we made that." I didn't think it was possible but he grinned wider and I had to kiss him.

Eventually the kicking ceased and he looked disappointed before his face contorted in pain. I moved away but he pulled me back into his arms.

"Just a spasm baby, the doc said it happens all the time with puncture wounds. Shit, I will _never _make a shanking joke or a prison rape joke ever again. Shit's too real." I looked at him as my brow furrowed in confusion and he looked embarrassed, "Forget I said the last thing ok baby?"

I didn't get a chance to reply before a cough was heard at the doorway. I looked away from him and saw my mom standing with a box that had to be from Stumpy's and a balloon. She smiled at me and gave Juice a sympathetic look before she walked in the room and set the food on the rolling table along with the balloon and went to the visitor's chair.

"How're you doing Juice?" No preamble just the straight up Q and A with my mom.

"Surprisingly well for being shanked in the yard. The baby's kicking, I just felt it." He sounded so proud that I had to grin.

"Good, you need something good. You know the club appreciates what you went through, right?" She got up and ran her hand through my hair as she took Juice's.

"I did everything I did to protect this family, to protect _my _family." He pulled me in tighter with his free hand and my mother leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"We are your family darlin' and I'm proud to call you my son." She smiled at him before she kissed the top of my head and moved away. "I brought you two breakfast from Stumpy's, the hospital food is shit. I'm gonna go visit Chibs but I'll be back and remember, there is no privacy in a hospital room."

She walked out and I kissed Juice gently before I got out of the bed and started getting the food out of the containers. It smelled like heaven and Juice tore into it immediately while I watched him. After he'd finished his portion of the breakfast he still looked hungry so I moved mine toward him and he stubbornly shook his head.

"No way, you eat. The baby needs nutrients. Shit did you remember to take your pills while you were in Newark?" His concern was sweet but I was more worried about him. I did what he said and ate the french toast while we shared the hashbrowns. Soon enough we were both full and content and I sat on the end of his bed and told him all about the business trip. There was a knock on the door and we looked up to see Tara standing with a smile.

"You're looking good Juice, Mills we need to check his vitals and do an examination, it should take about an hour. I'll give you clearance to visit Chibs if you want." I looked at Juice and he nodded before I moved to kiss him again.

"I'll be back in about an hour baby. Love you." I walked toward the door and her stopped me.

"Tell me how he's doing when you get back, ok?" He asked and I nodded before I went out the door to the elevators heading up to the ICU.

In no time at all I was at Chibs' door, not nearly as nervous as I'd been with Juice. I opened the door slowly, quietly to make as little disturbance as possible but my care was shot to hell when I yelped at the sight of the woman in the hospital chair. She was an older woman with darker skin sitting like a queen.

"Umm, sorry, I thought Chibs was alone. If you want some time with him I could go." It took me a second but I'd recognized her from the few photographs Chibs counted among his most prized possessions, she was his Fiona.

"Not a problem darlin', who do you belong to, ya look a bit familiar?" She sat up and I could see the cunning in her eyes. Mom had right to be afraid of her.

"I'm Gemma and Clay's daughter Millicent. I was here visiting my husband and decided that I needed to see Chibs." I deferred to her without even realizing it.

"Who woulda thought Gemma and Clay would make such a beauty? I'm Fiona Larkin, Chibs' wife." She extended her hand and I took it, not taken in for a minute by her smile. If the stories were true she was a cunning, cold, heartless killer. She would have gotten along well with Happy.

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am." She grinned at that and led me to the other chair.

"Polite too, you sure you belong to Gemma?" She smiled before she looked up at Chibs. I'd heard stories and now I didn't know if I believed them, the look in her eyes was pure love and concern, it was a look I'd seen in the mirror of Juice's eyes that morning. Maybe she wasn't as heartless as they said.

"You don't mind me hanging around for a while do you?" I sat back a little and put my hands on my stomach.

"Not at all lovey. How far along are you?" She took in my stomach and I smiled.

"Five months, the baby's getting more active."The baby was always a topic of interest with me

"Hold onto all the little memories yer gettin' with the wee one. Soon enough they'll be the only ones you have that are worth a damn." She looked at Chibs and I saw raw pain flash across her face, yeah she wasn't as heartless as everyone thought.

True to my promise I made it back to Juice in an hour and I found him watching a movie and flinching. I chuckled when I saw it was _Midnight Express_. He heard me and patted the bed next to him. This time I didn't fight him and merely walked to the bed and crawled in.

"Didn't you get enough of the real thing baby? This'll probably give you PTSD." I rested my head on his shoulder and he changed the channel to the Food Network. I grinned and snuggled closer, suddenly overcome with nostalgia.

"When I get out of here, we're going to that restaurant in Oakland. This time we'll actually make it through a whole meal." I laughed and he kissed the top of my head.

"I was thinking about something Juice; we have no names picked out for the baby." I looked at him and he got a thoughtful look on his face.

"I thought we'd name a boy Jean Carlos Ortiz Jr. and our baby girl would be Gemma Millicent Ortiz, keep the tradition going." I tried to keep from shuddering at his name choices and wasn't successful.

"Umm, I was thinking about going a different path. Your Mom's name was Esperanza, it means hope and this baby is our hope. Along with Abel they form a new generation of SAMCRO. Then for a middle name I wanted Donna, that way we'd be honoring her memory. What do you think?" He gave me the soft look that he reserved only for me and rested his forehead against mine.

"Esperanza Donna Ortiz, it's perfect." He placed his hand on my stomach and the baby responded by kicking again. She liked it too.

Later that night I was sitting in the uncomfortable visitor's chair while Juice lay snoring in his hospital bed. He'd had more spasms so I insisted that he get drugged up. He'd protested at first but the doctors agreed with me. Now he was in a morphine induced dreamland and I was doing some work for Elliot that didn't require my actual physical presence. He'd called me earlier to check on me and see how Juice was doing while I praised him for helping the family. He let Tristen take the credit and simply asked if I needed any more help. As it was I was doing fine as long as he didn't fire me for absence. He joked that he wouldn't fire me under one condition and thus I was now filling out paper work for him that Julie had dropped off. Julie was the receptionist and would work as an assistant from time to time. Behind her back I called her life preserver, she kept me from going under but refused to accept any praise. I had put the finishing touches on the last bit of paperwork when there was a knock at the door. I looked up to see David and suddenly got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Hi David, if you're here to wish a speedy recovery he's kind of conked out right now. I'll let him know you stopped by." I put the papers into my satchel and stuffed it under the chair.

"I'm glad he's doing alright Milla, you and the baby need him but I'm not here about Ortiz. I have something that I need to tell you." My heart dropped at the tone of his words.

"Luann Delaney was found beaten to death this afternoon, as of right now that's all we have." He walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure?" I asked as I fought to control my breathing and my heart rate.

"We're sure, I'm so sorry Milla. I know the two of you were close." He moved his hand until his arm was around my shoulder and offered support.

"No, no it couldn't be her. The last thing I said to her was that I hoped she got enough money to fill the empty spot in her soul. We didn't get a chance to fix things. She can't be dead David. We didn't fix things." I started crying and David knelt so that he could take me in his arms. I needed to be held and he suited the purpose.

"I'll keep you informed when we hear anything new. It'll be alright Milla, just take care of yourself and the baby. Ortiz will be out of here in no time. I have to go inform your family, want to come with me?" In that moment I'd never liked David more.

"No if I'm gone when he wakes up he'll freak and I don't want him tearing stitches. Thank you for coming to tell me personally David, I know others in your department who wouldn't understand what a blow this is." I sniffled and he grabbed tissues from the tray by Juice's bed and helped me wipe my face.

"I know you and Mrs. Delaney were close, she was willing to go to jail to protect you. If I hear anything new I'll personally track you down and tell you. I'm also going to give you this warning if your family hasn't already told you. Stahl is back in town and I'll do what I can to keep her off your back." He kissed my forehead and got up.

"Thank you David, for being so considerate. I need to be alone with my husband for a while." He got the hint and walked out after a wave goodbye.

I found myself unable to cry anymore and simply crawled into bed with Juice. I'd tell him when he got up but for now I moved his arm until it was around me and pressed myself into his side. In sleep he tightened his arm possessively around me and I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat and feeling his chest rise and fall and that was where I stayed, even the nurses didn't dare budge me.


	8. Chapter 8

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Eight**

"There's no question Milla, you are having a girl." Dr. Nior said and I smiled, this was the first bit of good news I'd gotten in a week.

For the last couple of weeks it had been one thing on top of the other. First Juice was stabbed and Luann killed, then Caracara burnt to the ground. Then there was the nearly empty memorial service which I had to arrange because everyone else was too wrapped up in their own shit to care. The only bright spots in my life were my husband and my baby. I didn't even feel like I could rely on my family anymore. Dad and Jax were fighting and I resented my Dad for putting Juice in the position to be hurt, hell my husband could have been raped and I doubt my father would have even cared. What hurt the most was that only a few brothers had come to see Juice and I felt like he deserved more. I looked down and saw Juice's eyes trained to the ultrasound. Tara had arranged for him to come to my appointments with me and I was grateful for that.

"That thing there, is that her arm?" Juice asked and I squeezed his hand, loving him even more for his concern.

"Yes Mr. Ortiz, she's well formed. Her heartbeat is strong; I think you have a very healthy baby girl. Have you thought about names yet?" She asked and Juice and I shared a grin.

"We have a name already picked out." He squeezed my hand and brought it to his lips.

"Good, you would be surprised by how many couples put off that planning until after the baby is born. Well, looks like we're done here." She cleaned off my stomach handed me a prescription for new prenatal pills and sent us on our way. I pushed Juice in the wheelchair back to his room, he enjoyed being taken care of and I could offer him that. Once he got settled in the bed I joined him and his hand took its ever present place on my stomach.

"Baby, I don't wanna talk for a while, you ok with just being here, holding me?" I asked and his answer was to kiss me deeply and move his free arm until he had me cradled to his side.

We stayed like that for a while just kissing with him touching me. Eventually his hand moved from my stomach and started kneading my breast, he wanted me and was doing everything he could to get the point across but I refused to do anything to cause him pain. The one blowjob I gave him proved too much and he popped a stitch, now he had to do without until we got the go ahead from the doctor and he was frustrated as hell. His hand started to move south and we were saved by the bell, more appropriately the ring. I pulled away and took my phone from my pocket, it was Elliot. With a kiss to Juice I moved off the bed and went out in the hall until I got good reception. He wanted me to stop by the office to pick up some paperwork by the end of the day and check on Karen, two things I would gladly do. When I returned to the room I saw Jax coming out and it pissed me off.

"Finally come to see your brother in law Jax? It's been two weeks and you finally see fit to visit him _now_?" I huffed and he grabbed me by the arm and silently led me to the chapel where he sat me on the pew. "What?"

"Shit's goin down Milla, I'm here so Bobby can proxy a vote." He gave me a lpleading look and I felt my brow furrowed.

"For?" I asked, confused and suddenly apprehensive.

"I'm going Nomad Mills and I wanna know how you feel about it." Without any conscious thought on my part my arm darted out and I slapped him in the face.

"Why would you do that to Tara, to Abel? Hell Mom's going through something right now and she needs you. Jax, I know you're fighting with Dad, hell the man's on my shit list right now too but the club needs you, we all need you. Going Nomad won't solve anything." I grabbed his hand and he squeezed it.

"It'll make things better for the club and for our family. I look at Clay and I'm so blinded by hate that I can't see good or bad, all I see is red. All it means is a few extra miles on my bike Millipede. I need to know I can count on our support, can count on you to be there for Tara and Ma?" He put his arm around me and I leaned into the hug. We sat there for a few minutes while I digested everything.

"You really think this is the best thing? This will fix whatever animosity you've got going with Dad?" I asked as I reached up and traced the VP patch on his cut.

"Yeah I do, you don't have to worry I'll be around when the little Juicespawn is born. I won't miss out on our family growing. This is the only option Mills." I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Promise me you'll talk to Happy about this; learn the Nomad thing from him. I'm behind you bro, if you think it's the best thing." He pulled me into a hug and I let the tears fall. MY family was falling apart and there was nothing I could do. Suddenly Bobby came in the chapel and walked up to us.

"We gotta go Jax." Jax let me go and I got up and hugged Bobby who hugged back and kissed my hair. "You take care darling, I love you."

I nodded and stayed in the chapel for a few minutes to compose myself. With one final deep breath I wiped my face and walked back to the room. When I saw Juice's face my heart broke. Whatever I was feeling had to be doubly hard for him. This was my family, everything I'd ever known but the fractures were nothing new. SAMCRO was everything to him and he was Jax's brother too, the ring on his finger ensured that. He was about to lose the stability in his life and now more than ever he needed me so I bucked up and walked to the bed where he welcomed me with open arms. No words were spoken, none needed to be and we held each other for a long time only shifting to allow our hands to entwine over my stomach where Esperanza was kicking a steady tattoo against my ribs.

Hours later I had left the safety and stability of Juice's arms and was filling out the paperwork for Elliot when I got a call from my mother. She told me in no uncertain terms to come to the house and I complied, the tone of her voice spooked me and I immediately put the paperwork on Elliot's desk and went outside to my car, I didn't know how fast I was going but before I knew it I was outside the house. I rushed in and saw Tara filling a tea pot while Jax sat. my heart broke when I saw his patchless front but I didn't say anything as I gave Ma a kiss on the cheek and sat in the vacant chair next to the one that Tara would occupy. Once Dad walked in Jax rose and the tension became unbearable, Dad looked ready for a fight but Ma would have none of it.

"Sit down both of ya." She said as she moved toward the table then she looked at Tara, "You too sweetheart, you know what it is I have ta tell them"

"What is this?" Dad asked, obviously voicing the question Jax and I had as well. Mom looked pained but she steeled herself and began a tale of horror so sharp I immediately felt my stomach drop.

"The night of Bobby's party. I didn't get into an accident driving home. I was attacked, minivan pulls up behind me, girl jumps out in a panic cause her baby's choking. The girl was very convincing, it was a goddamned doll in the carseat. Hit me over the head with a, ya know, blackjack, somethin'. I came to handcuffed to a chainlink, utility house out by the access road. They wore masks, there were three of them. When he spoke I knew his voice, the tat on his throat, Zoebelle's right hand, Weston. Told me to deliver a message to you, stop selling guns to color. Said if I didn't tell ya that he'd find me and do it again. They raped me, all three of them more than once." Jax slammed his fist against the table and it snapped me out of the downward spiral that had begun with the mention of rape. The rage was good, it was what we needed.

I watched as he grabbed Mom's hands in his own and kissed them before he put a hand to Dad's shoulder. In one gesture all was forgiven. I stayed seated unable to move as he moved around the table and leaned down to hug me, a hug I could only feebly return. I looked at Tara looking at Mom and felt a rage I had to squash down, it would benefit no one but the fact that she _knew _and didn't tell me hurt, it hurt even though I understood the reasons. I stayed seated as they left and Dad pulled Mom into an intimate gesture. I had to look away, it was private and I didn't want to interrupt. A few moments later I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at my Dad. All the resentment I felt concerning Juice and the stabbing was gone and I stood up and allowed him to hold me. I cried then, I cried for Mom, I cried for the club, I cried for my husband and I cried for Chibs. The tears were just the catharsis I needed and Dad just continued holding me. Ma came up to us and joined the hug, our family unit was whole again. I turned from Dad and Mom and I held each other, she had just had her own catharsis and for probably only the fourth time in my life I heard and felt Mom's tears. Once we were emotionally and physically exhausted we pulled apart and Mom kissed me gently on the lips.

"I hope Esperanza is half as strong as you are." I blurted out and Ma allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder.

"She's got our blood, she'll be strong. I love you baby." Ma whispered and pulled me closer.

"I love you Mom." We hugged tightly again and Dad kissed the top of my head before it was decided that I'd spend the night in the house. Dad wanted to tell the guys about this in church tomorrow and he knew I'd tell Juice if I saw him, he also felt that I wasn't in any condition to drive. I agreed and went to the guest bedroom once I knew Mom was doing alright before I crashed into a dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and plotlines are my own.

**Chapter Nine**

I woke up in the guest bedroom in my parent's house and started, not knowing what I was doing there and why. Then suddenly it all came rushing back to me, Mom's attack, the inevitable retaliation and I got up, hoping someone was home. I didn't have to worry much since as soon as I went downstairs the smell of pot came wafting up. I made a beeline for the dining room and found Mom sitting at the table smoking and looking pensive.

"Morning baby." She said with a drag of her joint and I went up to her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you?" I asked as I took her hand and she gave me an indulgent smile.

"I'm good, need to give you a message from your dad though. He and the Prospect went to pick up Juice from the hospital; you don't need to worry about it." I breathed a sigh of relief; I hadn't forgotten about his discharge and had even filled out the paperwork the night before but with everything that happened I doubted I could have kept my mouth shut.

"Do you need me to stay with you for a while?" I needed to get home and get things ready for him. I'd barely been there in the last couple of weeks and needed to at least get some dusting done.

"No Mills, you get home and get your house ready but I want you at the clubhouse later." I nodded and got up, kissing her on the cheek as she squeezed my hand. "I love you baby."

"I love you Ma, I'll be at the clubhouse later." She nodded and I went out the door to my car. With a deep breath and one last glance at the house I drove the four blocks to my own house.

I had just finished dusting around the bedroom when I heard the heavy footsteps that governed his approach and couldn't keep the grin off my face when I saw him stopped at the doorway. No words were spoken as he crossed the room and pulled me into his arms crushing me in an intense embrace. I gasped as he started removing my clothes and gave him a curious look.

"Doc gave the ok." It was good enough for me and I helped him remove his cut and t-shirt. His mouth fused to my neck, placing hot wet kisses as I undid his belt and he helped me get his pants down. Soon enough we were both naked and he spent a long time getting reacquainted with my body.

"What are you doing home baby? I thought they'd keep you at the clubhouse all day with all the backlogged Intel stuff." I snuggled into his arms and he kissed my neck.

"Our Chinese connection fell through; we have to get our private stock. Shit, I forgot about that, you're just too fucking sexy." I giggled as he placed a kiss behind my ear, then suddenly the very air around us changed. "I need to ask you something baby."

"What is it?" I turned around and looked into his eyes. He looked thoughtful and concerned.

"If something happened to you, you'd tell me right? If somebody hurt you you wouldn't keep it a secret, even to protect the club?" I reached up and ran my hand over his newly shaved Mohawk and kissed his lips.

"This is about what happened to Mom isn't it?" He nodded and I drew him into a kiss before I moved away. "I'd tell someone baby, even if I couldn't bring myself to tell you."

He accepted it and kissed me deeply before we got out of bed and took a quick shower. Once we were clean and clothed we found all of our assorted weapons and boxes of ammo and loaded them into the trunk of my car. After what happened to Mom I could tell that Juice's protective instinct was about to go overboard. We drove to the clubhouse and unloaded the guns as I tried to figure out ways to wait out the day since going to work was obviously out of the question. If Elliot didn't fire me it would be a freakin' miracle. Once we got to the clubhouse I walked in and was immediately wrapped in a bear hug by Bobby who sat with me on the couch as Juice ran around doing a million different tasks for my Dad.

"How're you feelin' darlin'?" Bobby asked as he held my hand in both of his.

"I feel like I'm floating, like nothing is real anymore. What happened to Mom is so surreal, she's the toughest bitch in the world and she was treated like trash, used. The only solace I have is that they tried to break her and she came out stronger than ever. She is stronger isn't she Bobby?" I pleaded as Bobby gave my hand a firmer squeeze.

"Your Ma is the toughest bitch in the world. What happened was horrible but she's survived worse and she knows we'd all die for her. She also has two children who'd kill for her. I think that all works toward keeping her the same strong woman she's always been." I leaned up and Bobby held me again before he kissed my forehead and sat next to me just holding me in his arms. Sometimes I just needed one of my Uncles to hold me, things like that didn't change with age. Suddenly the sound of flesh meeting flesh and curses were heard outside and the shout of "Clay!" could be heard and Bobby stood up quickly and ran toward the door with Dad and Juice at his heels.

"You stay right there." Juice said as he ran by me and of course I ignored the warning and went outside just in time to see Opie beating on Tig. My blood ran cold as the realization hit me, he knew. I stayed by the doorway and watched, unable to hear everything. I caught Opie's eyes before he drove off and I knew that look of haunted rage would stick with me for a long time. A few moments later Juice ran up to the clubhouse and glared at me before he dragged me inside and into one of the dorm rooms. We were going to have a talk, oh good more drama for Milla.

"Listen, baby-"I was cut off when he turned on me and backed me against the wall

"No, you listen. I'm sick of telling you things and being ignored. I'm sick of you knowing things and keeping me in the dark about them. I tell you everything don't I? I respect you enough not to keep secrets don't I?" I nodded and he continued, hurt. "I knew that you knew about Donna, hell I tried to keep Tig from going all bloodhound and sniffing out that you knew. Tell me now, did you know about your mother?"

"No, would I be this fucking broken up about it if I knew?" I shouted and he brought his hand up to my neck and held me in place.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm just so fucking scared right now. I could have died and left you alone; you could have been hurt like Gemma. Fuck, you _were_ hurt! That Caruso fuck's guard could have killed you or Esperanza and with Luann…Shit just fucking listen to me ok. I don't want to control you or take away your freedom I just want you safe. Baby, it's not just you I have to worry about anymore it's Esperanza. Just think about what I tell you to do, ok?" He asked as he pressed his forehead against mine. Everything he said made sense and I felt like a grade A bitch and not the good kind like Mom.

"What do you want me to do baby?" I asked as I brought my lips close to his. He kissed me gently, more a gesture of comfort than any ensuing lust and pulled away.

"Stay here and help with Tig while I call Tara and get her to come do her doctor thing. If you go anywhere please talk to me about it, ok?" He asked and I nodded as I sat on the edge of the bed while he made the call and brought Tig into the room. I stood up and went to the bathroom where I wet down a towel and walked to Tig. I began cleaning his face and his eyes never left my face.

"I told him." He whispered and I nodded, making sure he was clean enough for Tara to start her work. "Deserved worse than this."

"Like I said it was up to Opie and he obviously didn't want to kill you. If he wanted to he would have done it even with the whole fucking charter watching. Just heal Tig, heal your wounds and help heal the club." I finished with his face and leaned down to kiss an unmarked part of his forehead.

"I love you kiddo, as much as I love your Ma." I stood up and placed a hand lightly on his cheek.

"I forgive you Tig and you're one of my uncles, of course I love you." He gave me a soft smile and I walked out where I saw Tara walking back with a large first aid kit. We nodded at each other and I went to the bar where Dad and Bobby were sitting and talking.

"Hey baby girl." Dad said as he extended an arm and I stepped into it.

"Can you do me a favor Dad?" I asked and he nodded, giving me a squeeze, "Can you have someone let me know when Ope gets here? I'm gonna do some work in the office to fill my time."

"Sure thing kiddo." I smiled and kissed his cheek before I went to the office and started sorting the invoices. I had finished with the invoices and started on the parts orders when Juice poked his head in the door and gave me a smile.

"Hey baby, we good?" He asked and I nodded, giving him a slight smile of my own, "Good, I just wanted to let you know that Opie's here and he's in Jax's dorm."

I got up and walked to the door kissing his cheek as I walked out. As soon as I was in touching distance he placed an arm around my waist and walked with me into the clubhouse. I was right his protective instinct was gonna go into overdrive. Once we got to the dorms he let me go with a kiss to the temple and I knocked on the door, bursting in on him would only make things worse.

"Come in." He said and with a deep breath I walked into the room. "Hey Mills."

"Hey Ope; I need to talk to you." He nodded and motioned to the chair where I sat down and he sat across from me on the bed. "I'm so sorry things are hitting you like this. So sorry."

"Mills you've been apologizing for the last six months and I _know _none of this is your fault. I love you and my kids love you. You're my family." He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's not that easy Ope." I started crying before I could stop myself and I blurted out, "I knew, I knew Tig pulled the trigger, I knew Stahl set you up for a rat. I'm so sorry Opie, so fucking sorry."

I sobbed and saw him looking intently at me. There was a shadow in his eyes but it passed quickly and he walked over to the chair and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"This wasn't easy for you, they never make it easy for us do they. Founder's kids, we have to take it all because it's the club, our lives are supposed to revolve around it. I understand Milla; I was raised the same way I know this burden. I'm hurt and angry but it's not directed at you. I know part of the reason you didn't tell me was because I wasn't myself well that changes today. From now on I'm gonna be a man, take care of what's mine." He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"You're a good man Opie, too good for the shit that's landed at your door. You know I love you and trust you right." He sat back down and gave me a sad smile.

"I know Mills and I know you love my kids like they're your own. I don't know how I would have survived the last six months without you." He grabbed his hat and started twisting it in his hands.

"Can I ask a question Ope?" He looked at me and nodded. "I know this is the worst time but I haven't had a chance to ask you til now. What's going on with Lyla? Ellie told me that you got a new bed and that Lyla and Hunter have been spending the night. Don't you think it's too soon?"

"Do you?" He looked at me searching for an honest answer.

"In all honesty I'd think any time would be too soon. I still love Donna and the thought of you with anyone else breaks my heart but I can't deny that she's evened you out since you started whatever this is and I can't do anything but support that. I just want you to consider something." I took a breath before I started again, "Please ease up on the physical expressions with Lyla. It breaks Ellie's heart when she sees you kiss her. Just consider Ellie's feelings and maybe you and Lyla should sit down with her and Kenny and talk about this."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Thank you for being there for my kids." He got up and I took the hint. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

"Like you said I love them like they're my own. Dad should be calling church soon." He nodded and let me go. With one last look back I walked out the door and out to the office, secure in the knowledge that Opie would be ok, he was finally starting to heal.

Later that night I sat at the picnic tables with Tara and Lyla. I'd worked out my issues with both of them and it actually felt good to be around other Old Ladies. We'd gone to get food and when we returned were unceremoniously told to stay out. Apparently there was an issue with Piney and they needed to sort it out so we went to the picnic table after dropping off the food. I was talking to Lyla about Lamaze, I didn't like it but she swore that it saved her life during labor when Piney came out he didn't say a word as he got on his bike and rode off. Something big had happened. I knew I'd get the story later so I sat patiently while Jax and Opie came out. They went to their women and wondered why Juice didn't come out, I didn't have to wonder long because he came out a few seconds later and pulled me to him.

"I wanna take you home baby. We'll leave my bike here and take your cage. I just fucking need you close to me right now." I nodded and he moved away and grabbed my hand pulling me with him. I followed him without question he wasn't the only one who needed to be close.


	10. Chapter 10

I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and story lines are my own

**Chapter Ten**

"Hey baby, you packed?" Juice popped his head in the bedroom and I nodded. I'd just packed our bags. Soon we'd be heading to the clubhouse, everyone was on lockdown. Juice came in the room and wrapped his arms around me. "We'll be fine baby. I love you."

"I love you too I just fucking hate lockdowns." He kissed the top of my head and placed his hand flat on my stomach. Espy hated them too since she wasn't as active this morning.

"I know baby but we gotta go, gotta keep everyone safe." I nodded and moved away. I placed my hand to his face and kissed his lips gently. "This bag is packed, bring it downstairs. I'm just gonna go clean out the medicine cabinet, then I'll be ready."

"Ok, go down to the car when you're done and I'll lock up." He kissed me again before he grabbed my bag and his and went downstairs. I went to the medicine cabinet and put everything in the small bag I brought with me. With a sigh I went downstairs and waited while Juice locked up our house hoping that our family would come out of this thing stronger and whole. The nagging churning in my stomach promised a different outcome.

We made it to the clubhouse and some Prospects from the Thief River charter rushed out and took our bags from the back. Juice leaned over and kissed me, telling me it was gonna be ok I nodded and got out of the car. When I went into the clubhouse I saw that there were already tons of people there and soon there would be more. With a deep breath I moved through and found Ma in the kitchen unloading stuff she looked at me with a stern but loving look.

"No standing around darlin', if you're in here you help." I nodded and helped her put the food away before she sent me to the storage room to direct the Prospects in putting the rest of the stuff away. Soon I got tired so I went out and found Happy standing in the corner his dark, alert eyes taking in anything. Sometimes the stoic man provided a solid comfort I couldn't get anywhere else.

"Hey girly." He said as he put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and he just stood with me as the place started filling up. Eventually Juice came in with the announcement that everyone was there and I breathed a sigh of relief. The sooner everything was over, the sooner we could take stock and go on with our lives. I looked over and saw Ma and immediately felt like a selfish bitch. My discomfort was nothing compared to the hell she'd been through and with a deep breath I stood up straighter and Happy squeezed, the man may have been a stone cold killer but he could read people. Juice came over and pulled me into his arms while an ear piercing whistle came from the back. I looked up the see my Dad standing with Ma and Jax, it had begun.

"I'd like to welcome you all to club reaper, glad you made your reservations in advance. As you can see, we're booked to capacity," Dad said and everyone laughed, most of it nervous. We quieted down and let him continue "You're here because SAMCRO takes care of its own the next few days this club has got some business to handle that could put the people in this club and the people connected to it in some, unfriendly situations. Chances are, nothing is going to happen but, people have already been hurt on my watch," Dad looked from Ma to Chibs and then flitted his eyes to Juice, shit he did care that Juice got hurt. He continued, "and that ain't ever gonna happen again, Nobody gets in without an escort and nobody leaves without one. You got safety concern, you talk to Piney. You got a comfort concern, you talk to my Queen or the princess" Dad turned and nodded toward me while Juice held me tighter and I nodded toward the room. "Under this roof you'll all be safe. I want you to make yourself at home. I love each and every one of ya."

Everyone clapped and Juice squeezed me tightly before he and Hap went to the chapel with everyone else. Ma was sitting at the bar while one of the croweaters poured her coffee. I sat down next to her and she reached over and took my hand. We didn't speak for a while I looked at everyone in the room and while I tended to dislike the croweaters on principal I felt like this was my family crowded in this room. We were all members of the SoA extended family.

"Coffee?" The croweater asked and Ma answered for me.

"Get her some water sweetie." She nodded and I looked at Mom.

"Lockdowns never get easy do they?" I rested my hand on my stomach where Espy had landed a solid kick. Mom moved her hand to the same spot and smiled.

"Nothing's easy baby, at least you have a good man to take care of you." I nodded and took the water the croweater had offered me.

Eventually the chapel cleared out and Juice said something to Jax who nodded and he came up to me and kissed me gently while Mom smiled at us, never taking her hand from where her grandbaby was kicking. He pressed his forehead to mine before he spoke.

"I've gotta go with Jax and Opie, do a bit of educating." He smiled when he said it, "I'll be back soon."

"Be safe baby." I whispered and kissed him before he nodded at Mom and moved out the door to follow Jax and Opie.

"Like I said, good man." She sipped her coffee and I opened the water and took a drink. It didn't settle my nerves like coffee would have but it helped.

Later I was in the corner playing a game of Crazy 8s in the corner with Ellie and Kenny and Hunter, Lyla's son, when Piney got a call and went out. I was interested and watched as he brought in a man who looked like he had no hands. Eventually my eyes made sense of what I saw and I realized that this guy had to be the infamous Chuckie I'd heard about, the chronic masturbator that Tig had adopted like a stray. Apparently he wasn't a bad guy, just looking to belong. Juice came out the back and had a talk with Piney before he took out his cell and walked outside. One of he croweaters got a look at Chuckie's hands and went to the back to get Tara and Mom who were taking care of Abel away from the crowd.

"You guys continue the game I'm gonna see what's up." Ellie nodded and the boys continued looking at their cards while I walked over to Piney who had seated Chuckie at a table by the bar. "Need my help Old Man?"

"Just keep Chuckie company while we wait for everyone." I nodded and sat down in the seat opposite him.

"Hi, I'm Milla, Clay's daughter and Juice's wife." I didn't offer my hand since that would have been cruel.

"I'm Chuckie, I don't think I met this Juice but if he's married to a beauty like you he has to be a good guy." I smiled, this guy was adorable.

Juice came in and stood behind my chair. I introduced him to Chuckie and Juice held out his hand. Chuckie smiled and nodded while I blushed and ducked my head. I loved Juice but sometimes… Eventually Tara and Mom came out the back and I gave up my seat for Mom and was sent in the back to check out our medical supply situation. I was glad I was sent out; I didn't do well with burns. I came out in time to see Tara finishing up Chuckie's hands when Dad walked in. I walked up and he gave me a hug and kept his arm around me protectively

"Go check on the kids ok sweetheart?" Dad whispered and I nodded before I rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

I wound up sitting with Lyla in one of the dorm rooms holding Abel while Ellie read in the corner and a few of the boys played a weird looking game involving cards and some kind of "battle top". I picked one up and examined it while Lyla smiled at me.

"It's called Bakugan, Hunter's obsessed with it. Whatever happened to Pokemon? I understood that shit." I laughed and put the thing back on the pile before I gave Lyla a soft look.

"Thanks for hanging with me Lyla. How're you handling your first lockdown?" I asked as I sat back resting on the headboard.

"A lot of waiting. From what Piney told me I was expecting bullets flying and hostage situations. This is more like a family gathering where the guests can't leave." I looked at her with a new respect. She got it in one, this _was_ a family gathering and we definitely couldn't leave.

"We are your family now sweetheart. You don't know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me in the last couple of months." This time she looked at me with a look that was pure love and respect before she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"I love you Milla, you're my best friend, my only _real _friend. Everything I do for you is because I love you and I know that you love me and respect me. You don't know how hard it is to be in this business and get respect. Damn Mills, even if I wasn't with Ope you'd be my family. No matter what goes down I'll be here for you." She took the hand that wasn't holding Abel and squeezed it, while my eyes started to fill up with tears.

"I love you too Lyla, I wanted to hate you for replacing Donna but I can't, what you're doing for Ope…" I took a deep breath, "You'll never replace her but you are good for him and I hope this lasts."

We stayed in the bedroom talking and playing with the kids. Kenny tried to teach me Bakugan and I got lost and wound up screwing up their game. Ellie was quiet and withdrawn and I felt bad because she obviously wanted me to be against Lyla but I couldn't. I owed my life and my baby's to her quick thinking, other than that I simply enjoyed being around her. Despite the calming effect of the children I was getting anxious, I hadn't heard from Juice in a while and Ma said she hadn't seen him when she'd collected Abel earlier. Just as I was getting ready to climb the walls Juice came to the opened door with Opie behind him, he looked nervous but put on a strong front.

"Hey baby, I need to talk to you for a minute." He said and I got off the bed and went with him outside. I noticed there were various groupings outside, my mom and Dad, Jax and Tara, Bobby and his latest piece, Piney and Mary. Juice moved me to a more private corner and gave me a quick kiss.

"It's going down isn't it?" I asked and he pressed his forehead to mine.

"Yeah, our best ten against Weston's best ten. Bare knuckle no holds barred." Once he said it I started shaking my head.

"No fucking way, you just got out of the hospital you have two broken ribs and several still healing stab wounds. You still have two stitches baby. If you get a kidney punch-" I didn't get to continue because he kissed me effectively cutting off my words and breath.

"That's why we have a doctor baby, Tara's agreed to patch me back up. We need to do this baby, we're fighting for Gemma, I'm fighting for you, for our daughter. I want these fucks out of Charming before our baby comes into this world and damn it'll feel good to beat a racist fucker's head in. I promise, listen to me, I promise to come back in one piece." I looked at him and held in my tears.

"You guys have back up right? Lots of violent guys with big guns?" He chuckled and nodded before he kissed me again deeply this time.

"Hey Juice, we've gotta go man." Jax called out and Juice broke the kiss before diving in for a quick kiss, then he did something I didn't expect he knelt on the ground and kissed my stomach.

"Daddy loves you Esperanza Donna, Daddy loves Mommy too. I promise to be back to you and Mommy tonight. Be good and don't kick too hard." As if in retaliation to his words Eapy kicked and he smiled before he rose, gave me a quick peck on the lips and practically ran to his bike.

As they pulled out we moved to watch them and my heart felt like it was beating a million miles a minute as the van pulled out and the gate closed. Chuckie came up behind me and put a reassuring forearm on my shoulder, he had no idea how comforting it was in that moment. Mom drew Tara and Lyla to her with a kiss, to each cheek then like a queen she ordered everyone inside. I moved to her side and she put an arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple as she included Chuckie in our group.

I was a nervous wreck after they left. I snapped at everyone and the only people spared my venom, besides the kids, were Lyla and Chuckie. They just offered silent acceptance while Mom tried to control and Tara tried to fix. My nerves had gone beyond the breaking point and I only trusted myself to sit in the corner with a bottle of water clutching my cell when bikes pulled up. I stood and Lyla came to my side as we went outside. All the men were banged up and I saw Juice get off his bike and clutch his side while Hap gave him a brotherly clap on the shoulder. He saw me and walked fast while Lyla moved to Opie.

"I promised I'd be back." He tried to hug me and I moved away.

"How hurt?" I was amazed I could even form that much of a sentence.

"I think I need my ribs bandaged up again I felt a tear in my back and The asshole managed to get a few good punches to the face. I'm better off than he is anyway. There was blood coming out his ears and I think I made him bite off his tongue." I smiled at that and wrapped my arms around his neck. He moved his arm gingerly around me and held me loosely.

"Let's go get you fixed up." He nodded and followed me into the clubhouse where Tara bandaged him, stitched him up and provided good painkillers. As I looked into his eyes I realized he really was my life, even with Espy to think about I didn't know how I could survive without him. Unfortunately I had to try, those weapons charges weren't going away. With that sad thought I took a deep breath and left the makeshift infirmary. I went outside to breathe the night air. As if in answer to my silent plea Mom came outside and found me followed by Tara and Lyla. In this man's world _we_ were the ones who were supposed to be strong and I'd do my damndest to be strong.


	11. Chapter 11

I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.

**Chapter Eleven**

"I'm going with you." I said as I finished tying my shoes and straightened my shirt.

"The fuck if you are." Juice stood in front of the door and I glared at him.

"I wanna see this bastard, watch him take that walk before Jax gets him. I believe I deserve that much. She's my mother, I deserve to be part of this." He sighed before he rubbed a hand over his face.

"You're almost six months pregnant baby, if things go wrong I don't' want you in the crossfire. I know you wanna be part of this but there's too much of a risk." He sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand.

"I feel so useless, so fucking worthless." I looked at the floor and felt his fingertips brush my chin as he brought my eyes to his.

"You are anything but useless baby and you're worth the world to me. We need you here to help with the kids, make sure everyone's ok. You're Gemma Jr. it's time to show why you're fit to be the queen when your mom steps down." I chuckled at that but he looked serious.

"Tara's the next queen, she's Jax's Old Lady, you know the hierarchy." He shook his head.

"Fuck the hierarchy, this is your world, has been since the second you were born and Tara may be the VP's Old Lady but she doesn't understand like you do and I need you to understand now. Stay here and I promise I'll keep you informed, do this for me?" He asked and I was stuck.

"Fine, I'll stay but if there's even a whisper of something going down you tell me." He nodded before he leaned in and kissed me, it started gentle but I didn't want gentle. I grabbed the collar of his cut and pulled him in. I wanted more.

"It's time to go Juicyboy." Chibs knocked on the door and I growled.

"Fuck, I've gotta go baby. Stay here and I promise everything will be ok." He kissed me again and moved before I could grab him. Once he was out the door I sat on the bed and tried to shake off the feeling of dread that had seeped to my very bones. I was unsuccessful.

Later that morning I was sitting at a table by the bar with Mom, Tara and Lyla holding Abel in my lap. Kip was being our errand boy, getting anything we needed. Watching him walk around with a slight limp was heartbreaking, he just wanted to be whole again and his body rejected it. As I was thinking Abel started fussing so I got his bottle from the diaper bag and started feeding him.

"Have any thought what you're gonna do with Esperanza?" Mom asked as she watched me feed Abel with soft eyes. She liked my name choice and gave her blessing.

"Breast feeding, I'm not a fan of the whole formula thing. Juice supports me a hundred percent but I can't help but think that that's partially because his chance of seeing boob increases a hundred fold." Mom snorted while Tara and Lyla chuckled. We chatted for a while longer before a small group of the guys came sauntering in. Tara grabbed Abel from me and I walked up to Dad.

"Where's Juice?" I knew it was rude but the idiot hadn't called me and I was a bit hormonal.

"We have him monitoring Main Street with the Nomads. Jax is taking care of the other situation." I nodded, I didn't need to be told what that situation was. Mom came over and kissed Dad on the cheek while Tig came to my side and threw an arm across my shoulders. He was slowly becoming my Uncle Tig again and I appreciated his gesture of comfort.

"How's everything going here?" Dad asked and Mom and I nodded.

"Everything's fine, we're running low on bottled water and snack foods but that's easily remedied. I set up a movie room in the back so some of the kids are occupied and I have a soccer game set up for anyone who wants to play later." Dad nodded and leaned down to kiss my forehead while Tig pulled his arm tighter around me.

"You're doing good angel. I have to talk to your Mom for a bit." I nodded and moved away from Tig, getting dismissed was something I was all too familiar with and I went with Lyla to the back to see if everything was ok. Everything was ok with the kids, with me not so much. I ran down the hallway and barely made it to the bathroom before I was unloading my stomach. Lyla came in behind me and got me a glass of water from the sink.

"Are you ok?" She asked as she took a paper towel and wet it down with cold water and put it on the back of my neck. It felt a million times better.

"I've been like this for the last couple of weeks. I thought morning sickness was supposed to be early in the pregnancy." My stomach rolled again and Lyla ran her fingers through my hair.

"I didn't have any at all with Hunter and my sister was sick her whole pregnancy it affects us all differently. Didn't you read the pregnancy books?" She asked and my stomach finally started to settle.

"Cover to cover, my pregnancy has been anything but typical." She giggled and got me a glass of water before we moved out to check on the kids. I decided to sit and watch _Howl's Moving Castle_ with the kids, it was my favorite Miyazaki film and I needed a good fantasy with a happy outcome so Lyla went back to hang out and let me enjoy the time with the kids. Ellie sat at my side and put her hand on my stomach. I'd told her she could be Auntie Ellie and she took the duties seriously, calling me every night to check on me and Espy and making sure I took my vitamins. I loved that kid with everything in my heart. I loved Kenny too, don't get me wrong but the bond I had with Ellie was epic. It's because of my relationship with her that I didn't doubt I could be a mother, the quality was in question but I could do it.

The movie was just about to finish up, Sophie had just discovered Howl's heart with the Witch of the Waste when Mom poked her head in and smiled when she saw me with Ellie. She understood our bond and didn't question it.

"When the movie's done wanna come shopping with Tara and I we're getting supplies and some stuff for the kids?" She looked around the room and I shook my head.

"I'm still feeling a little weak from earlier and I promised to play a game of Old Maid with Ellie and Shayla. If you need me to come I can." Ellie gave me a look and I knew she'd understand if I had to break a promise, all these kids got were broken promises. Mom saw the look too and shook her head.

"That's fine baby, I'll get some saltines and ginger ale for you. Maybe a new pack of cards." Ellie turned and smiled at her and I felt a desire to hug my Mom so I got up and did. She hugged me tight and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips, "I love you baby."

"I love you too." I whispered and squeezed her again. Then she was out the door and I went back to the movie with Ellie.

I had put in _Aladdin _and was getting ready to go out and monitor the soccer game when Jax poked his head in the door. With one look in his eyes I knew it was done. I crossed the room and enveloped my brother in a hug he returned. He kissed the top of my head and didn't comment on the tears in my eyes.

"I love you Millipede."He kissed the top of my head again and walked with me into the bar area. I'd get one of the other moms to watch the game, I needed to be by my brother for a bit and he instinctively knew.

"Good move Kenny! No, you do _not _kick the goal keeper Evan. Angie, ok Angie just sit out for a while." I called out and the little girl came over and cried as I held her in a loose one armed hug. The guys wanted to discuss business and Juice had called to tell me he was alright so I spent my time with the kids taking care of them, just doing what I could to alleviate the dread.

As the game devolved to randomly kicking the ball around I managed to get Angie back in the game. I began to feel a dread so deep, so intense that when my phone rang I shrieked. I assured the kids I was ok and picked up.

"Baby." I breathed a sigh of relief as Juice spoke. "We have Zoebelle trapped, I wanted you to know that."

"Thank you baby, I just needed to hear your voice." It did next to nothing to stop the churning in my stomach but knowing he was ok was something I needed to know.

"I love you, take care of Espy." He hung up and I moved to lean against the side of the garage, something was happening, something bad and I felt like Cassandra, doomed to predict tragedy but helpless to prevent it. I heard the sound of bikes and saw Piney, Happy and Koz pull into the lot. Once they parked I went up to Piney and gave him a hug.

"You ok Mills?" He asked and I felt tears in my eyes again.

"Something bad's happening Piney, I can feel it." He wrapped me in a fatherly hug and held me while I cried before he passed me off to Koz who put an arm across my shoulders and led me into the clubhouse. One of the moms would have to take care of the kids for now.

I sat at a table in the clubhouse nursing a cup of herbal tea. It was supposed to calm me down but was doing jack shit. There was something big going down and the looks Piney, Koz and Happy were sending my way weren't helping me at all. Just when I was about to throw my tea cup at the wall from sheer frustration Juice came through the front door followed by Bobby and Tig. His eyes darted around the room and stopped on me. He threaded through the crowd and pulled me out of my seat holding me in his arms.

"What happened?" I asked and felt him tense.

"You don't know? You guys didn't tell her?" He was pissed and I'd never heard him use a tone like that with one of the senior brothers.

"We thought it would be better if you told her, in private, without breakables." Koz was trying to lighten the mood and failing.

"Tell her here, she's with family." Piney said and Juice nodded before he led me back to my seat. He pulled the other chair with him and sat taking my hands in his.

"Baby, what I'm about to tell you just know that there's nothing you could have done to prevent it and being there could have hurt you or Espy." I was suddenly terrified and so sick I could taste the bile in the back of my throat, "Gemma's on the run, she killed Polly Zoebelle and Stahl found her over the body. You know she'll be ok, she's a tough bitch."

"There's more?" I asked when there was a huge pasue.

"Yeah, Half Sack is dead baby, he died protecting Tara and Abel but Abel was kidnapped, by Cameron Hayes." My blood was cold and my heart was pounding in my chest.

"Kidnapped? Hayes? What? We saved that prick's life and, how did this happen baby?" I asked as the tears tracked down my face. My mind seemed unable to grasp the fact that Kip was dead and fixated on my kidnapped nephew.

"Hayes thinks Gemma killed his son, he took Abel in retaliation. We'll find him baby, you know we will." Of that I had no doubt and my brain was suddenly able to process Kip's death.

"Kip, dead…He didn't even get his top rocker." This made me sob and Juice held me in his arms and let me cry and cry I did. I cried for Kip, cried for my nephew, cried for my Mother and cried for my brother who lost his son.

"We've survived so much baby, we'll survive this." Juice kissed the top of my head as I clung to him. I tried so hard to believe him and in that moment and almost did.

**Author's Note:** There you are, the end of _Changes_. I will be starting a new story beginning in season 3. This new story will be done slightly differently I will be utilizing the POV of other characters other than Milla, characters who have just been bit players before. Since most of the next season takes place in Belfast , this needs to be done to keep the story going. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing my work.


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